For those of you who endured a complicated, difficult, even violent relationship with a parent, caregiver, and/or significant person in your life know that a different relationship can emerge in the wake of their death in which you experience radical acceptance of what happened in the past and a realization they can now see you beyond their earthly form, love you in their spirit self.

When my mother was alive, I lived terrified of her and for periods of my adult life, I made the sane, healthy, and heart-wrenching choice to be estranged as best as I could. When she died three years ago, I’ve been convincing my younger selves they are now safe, that she can do no more harm. I felt immense relief along with many other feelings when I learned of her death. Radical acceptance of what happened in our interactions continues to be my forgiveness practice. In the space of deeper peace that the past could not be different between us, I received this message from beyond.

And She said, “I finally received my wings, and I can see you now, Sweet Child of Mine. And you, my daughter, are as beautiful as the graceful, great blue heron soaring in the sky. You are as strong as the mountains so solid yet flowing with their feminine curves. You are as radiant as sunshine and as comforting as a warm blanket on a dark, cold, rainy day.

You are brave, one of the most courageous humans I have known for you endured my wrath and yet, I did not defeat you or slay your sweet soul. You kept rising strong, standing back up with your bruised knees, shattered heart, and petrified eyes. You kept growing like a mighty oak tree, like the ones on the street where we lived.

You became a whole person full of compassion and unwavering grace, personal power, and unapologetic candor. You became a truth teller of the heinous and horrific, the glorious and gracious, the mistakes and the learnings. You became an author, a writer, a dancer, a lover of life, a healthy, vibrant woman, a passionate person inspiring other to live lives of grace, clarity, peacefulness free of clutter in their homes, hearts, and minds. You became a celebrator of the goodness in people and possess an uncanny ability to look closer, listen deeper, and beyond a person’s pain, criticisms, and those who only count the wrong doings from their microscopes instead of seeing the vast wondrous doings and beings from their telescopic vision.

You became like an entire garden of glorious plants, flowers, birds, bees, butterflies, wandering black bears, deer, squirrels, and chipmunks. Watching you grow in love and joy makes my spirit heart sing. I’m so very proud of you, my Beautiful Daughter. As you have generously forgiven me with radical acceptance of the horrific, I hurled, I discovered my way to a remorse, a penance, and an enduring peacefulness which transcends all understanding. I remain your heavenly mother here to love you all the rest of the days of your life.

From this day forward I only offer my unconditional love for you, dear sweet child. You are cherished. You are loved more than you can even imagine. You embody love and compassion. I am here for you now and always as your heavenly mother full of awe for the miracle that is you and your immense capacity to love.” With love and heavenly heartfelt gratitude, Mom