This week I received $3,392 from my August earnings on Insight Timer. The week before I received a check for $750 as a deposit for a presentation I’ll do in March. I have no idea what those numbers mean to you. But I can tell you what they mean to me. Last year I made just over $5,000 pursuing my purpose. The year before, a bit over 4, and the two years prior? Nada.

This year I’m on track to do at least 5 times last. What those numbers mean to me is a mix of immense gratitude and a much-needed sense of relief. My inner narrative goes something like “Holy shit, thank God whatever “this” is, is finally working.”

I’ve been pursuing this since January of 2015. The whole time, I trusted this would happen, yet when you go years with no financial reciprocation, you tend to fall into doubt.

I don’t talk about my finances to brag about how much money I’m making. 25k a year ain’t ballin by most standards. I share with you the details and the process with the intention to show you that IT’S POSSIBLE.

I’m not saying that you’re going to make 7 figures in 6 months if you align with your purpose. That has not been my experience. Mine has been gradual, and I’m just starting to feel a tip. Yet with enough belief & persistence, I truly believe anything is possible. Not only is it possible, but it’s also deeply meaningful. That’s why I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’m grateful that it’s taken this long for a few reasons. One is that it’s allowed me to strengthen my persistence and belief. Two is it’s created a deeper sense of appreciation for the money I make because I know what went into realizing it. And lastly, it will allow me to serve others much more intimately because if I didn’t have the experience of doubt, how could I truly understand someone who’s struggling with it?

You can’t lead where you haven’t been. It’s why the topic of my next course is, “How to Make Money Doing What You Love”. I plan to do a much more extensive post on all of my financial history this upcoming January. But that’s not what today is about.

I’m grateful to be coming into financial abundance, but I can already see myself getting trapped in it’s dopamine rush. Most of my work in schools is based on booking future events & workshops. It’s such a hit of excitement to book a presentation, but then what? Well, then like any addict, I’m looking for the next hit. I spend a few hours/days/weeks reaching out to schools, finally book something, feel good for 30 mins, then OK, what’s next?!

It’s easy to get addicted to the chase. But like any addiction, it’s not sustainable happiness. I’ve had to become aware of this cycle and catch myself when I fall victim to it. Sure, It can be helpful because it gets me to make the calls. It becomes counterproductive however when I let the days go by blinded by the future prospect of money, and forget the joy of living each day in the present moment.

Numbers on a screen will never give you true happiness. 

When I get caught thinking it will, I try and remember who I really I am. I attune with the part of me that needs nothing. That Is Everything. Money does not compare to the bliss & love of the Divine Presence.

That’s not to say money isn’t awesome. It’s an amazing resource and tool. I’m done shaming myself for wanting it. But as the misquoted Bible quote goes, “For the Love of money is the root of all evil.”

What’s misguided is the relentless pursuit in thinking that money is IT. Thinking that it is the purpose, instead of a means to fuel The Purpose. It causes people to lose sight of their values, and run through a perpetual cycle of wanting “more” and never having “enough”. Money is not inherently evil, but forgetting what gives us real meaning is.

Everything we need, we have already within us. All the joy, love, and even abundance is at our core. I’m no law of attraction expert or advocate, but I believe in it’s essence. When we feel good, it doesn’t matter that we don’t see the financial return yet.

When we attune ourselves and feel like we have enough, then our outer experience becomes a reflection of our inner. That is why the work is always to turn inward. True peace & abundance is right here & now. That is why I created this meditation to help you tap into your true source of happiness.

Listen Here: Cultivating Inner Abundance