Spirit Encourages Us to Have Gratitude for these Places Where We are Not Yet Free.

Truth. The truth shall set you free — and I am hesitant to (metaphorically) bleed onto the pages this morning but the illumination of April’s pinkfull moon today is asking us to directly stare into the face of the beasts we have created, or allowed, into our lives. So I type.

The false twin. I recently stumbled upon a photo or two of a man that planted deep seeds of trauma within me and I didn’t cry, cringe, nor feel like death had stabbed me in my gut. I didn’t have that old need for justice or the ever looming wanting to scream to all his fans what a horrible person he is behind his persona. I just looked, recalled the feeling of what I thought was love, and I deleted the photo. A year ago I was still having full-blown PTSD attacks, just feeling him think of me.

This full moon is illuminating our hidden past which we’ve stuffed down, taking our power back by owning it so we can move more fully into our future.

Emotional Triggers. For six years, the emotional trigger button within, even affected my sleep, or lack thereof, as he would regularly sexually assault me in the astral realm (yes, that is a thing!). It didn’t matter he had a girlfriend or that I didn’t want him near me in any regard. I had cut chords, prayed, begged, worked with gurus, used boundaries, energetic shielding, had psychic surgery completed on me to get him away from my energy and nothing worked. I would lay awake every night as long as I could and the anxiety would take over to the point of shaking at just the thought of falling asleep, and his opportunity to get into my energy field.

During daylight, my world was filled with mutual friends, reminders of him in every direction, and 3rd eye visions which wouldn’t leave me as though I was in a psychosis of his orchestration and out of my control…making me, the innocent one, look like I was crazy.

Repeating numbers of 11:11 and synchronicity were taken as good signs, even though I was being treated horrifically both physically and psychically. And this went on year after year until he destroyed me into nothingness on every single level.

Even my closest friends and family thought I had gone crazy. I agreed with them; yet therapists and gurus both stood in agreement that I was nothing but the victim of a narcissist using his spiritual gifts…and I was extremely lucid and healthy in the psyche of both man and spirit.

Before and After the Narcissist — from vibrant to death’s door.

Narcissist Abuse. The narcissist will whittle away at you physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and then turn the entire world against you. Both during and after they don’t want you talking to their friends and family alone because you may begin to put their lie-based stories together and figure them out.Even when my health deteriorated to the point of being bedridden, and ending up with cancer, I could not admit that he was a Narcissist because he kept whispering, “I love you” in my ear and could feel his heart’s love brimming over.

He ruined me.

Lessons. I learned many things within my ruins, beginning with that I am the love. And that everyone, even and especially, the narc reflects back to you whatever YOU are — the love I was feeling was actually MY love in his mirror.

And he chose me, not because I was weak or even naive, it was because he wanted what I had and to be like me, so then he drained those things from me at the deepest energetic soul level possible.

I allowed him for many years to drain me in the name of love, as I believed subconsciously that love was to be sacrificial, or even unconditional at my own expense. That is not love.

Via Mirror of my Soul.

The Toxic Masculine. The man I dealt with represents the Toxic Masculine in our collective, which has spiritual gifts and uses them for evil. I’ve seen it also labeled as the Matrix Twin (and can we just throw out all the f*cking labels now, please?). Many have taken these men and labeled them as Divine Masculine, which is utter bullshit. A Divine Masculine never, ever harms the one he loves — he supports and nourishes his divine partner. He is an alchemist of love and leads with his heart, not his penis or manipulation.

A Divine Masculine is our greatest healer on earth. He also does not approach you in any manner, even astrally, without your consent!

In our current times of spiritual warfare, men with powerful energy are being called a Twin Flame or a God, when they are just a Narcissist or Megalomaniac, placed into your life to push you into your awakening. Whether it’s someone you’ve personally met or Trump. These soul contracts are to help wake us up, individually and collectively!

These intense personal connections have a soul contract to help break your co-dependency, to learn to choose yourself, to heal your false ideals about what love is…because a Narc cannot love you! They do not have the capability to do so.

Healing the Cycle of Abuse. As a Twin Flame coach for over a decade, and highly evolved being, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. I can confirm that love does build you up* and it does not tear you down into nothing. Leaving you in the gutter of life, is not loving or love.

Yet, I see it all the time still on Youtube with tarot readings that are profiting off of naive women and men that are thirsty for love and holding onto something labeled as “love” which is actually a borderline sociopathic narc which you manifested a soul contract with to learn from.

Step away and let it go!

I have personally experienced it, but I’ve been quiet about it all until now. This is because I am now beginning to finally feel strong again, because I am being loved well by my true divine partner who holds a space for me to flourish within, and be myself, and feel safe in the world — all things which the narc took away, and/or never provided me.

For me to come out of the cycle of the empath/narc abuse has literally been the most difficult thing I have done as a Divine Feminine who walked away, broke the cycle, and the emotional trigger of just looking at his photo is now uninstalled!

And this full moon is asking you to finally LOOK AT your current triggers so you can uninstall the buttons which you still have inside you. Because the button is in you, it’s not about another person or situation.

• What are you still holding onto?
• What are you having an emotional reaction about and to whom?

Uninstall your emotional button through acceptance. It’s over now.

Oracle Message. For this full moon, Spirit asked me to pull a few cards and the oracle says that many of you likely are feeling upside down in your life. Finding it challenging to even see anything to be grateful for at the moment — likely you’re feeling very uncertain about everything.

You have been going through a spiritual activation so it’s creating an out-of-balance energy and likely feels very scary in daily life as the past is being let go of, yet the future hasn’t shown you the way to it yet…at all!

The Raven has been gracing all of my recent Oracle Card Readings which asks us to step into the Truth! Truth with a capital T, which represents our soul’s truth vs. allowing the old stories of ego to keep looping and running your life. It is unabashedly living and speaking the Divine Truth through us and into situations we see in the present moment, and to share about our past experiences, which we have been keeping hidden out of shame concerning these horrific people, situations, and the Narcs in our lives.

Many of us, in classic co-dependent behavior, have been taking on the perpetrator’s guilt and shame for them. This is no time to keep being a Martyr! Your success depends on you being the embodiment of Truth in every manner in your life…not sitting on your hands, being nice, walking on eggshells or keeping quiet.

The Narc’s plan is to ruin you so you will keep quiet, by the way. So if you are not speaking up still, you are playing their game even though they are long gone!

It’s time to bandage up those wounds, forgive yourself for what you couldn’t see, and then allowed, and let it go.

You are full of wisdom, however you are blocking your own success in life by keeping quiet about very serious things you have been through or are witnessing in the world. That serves no purpose other than for you to continue choosing to bow down to the Narc and all the emotional triggers they planted within you as a form of control.

It is time to take back control of your life. Now!

Your success depends on it — not just success in finances, but also partners, health, friends, opportunities for experiencing joy in your life.

Soul Freedom. Our soul is always and forever seeking Freedom — a spiritual freedom from our ego which holds onto everything like a dog with a bone. Ego gnaws on things repeatedly trying figure things out, or wanting some justice, or payback instead of just being free of all the unrest from the situation — we have the ability to just drop it any time we choose.

By holding on, we are keeping our own emotional buttons installed rather than deactivating them by leaving toxic situations, or the remembrance of such.

Alternately, when we do not speak up, or shine light upon the dysfunction, then we are as bad as the perpetrators — even if nobody seems to be listening. I can attest to the fact that more people are listening to you than you realize!

Spirit Encourages Us to Have Gratitude for these Places Where We are Not Yet Free. After you take steps to let go through self-forgiveness, you can find a bit more space within your emotions to begin focusing on gratitude for what you have right now in the present moment. The energy of gratitude is like high-octane fuel to the Universe! It begins pulling you forward into positive experiences, step by step, instead of sitting there feeling stuck and in complaint.Lighten Up! Your advice from the Oracle is playfulness! You are tired and way to serious right now — it’s time to embrace your innocence. Let go of heavy responsibility for a bit. It’s time to give yourself a break (mentally or physically) by nurturing you spirit by doing someone you find fun! Joy is as important for sustaining yourself as eating. Lighten up a bit will absolutely help you shift your upside down energies of feeling stuck, lost or generally not particularly rewarded or happy in your life. Switch up your energy right now by doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing.

*Love does build us up. I will be sharing in my next article, how I firsthand know this is the truth in the present moment as I enjoy the Alchemical Marriage between divine partners.