Finding yourself at the crossroads of bereavement and grief, while having to clean out a loved one’s home or bedroom after they have passed away can be a challenge for even the most apathetic person.

Often many people tend to leave the cleaning for several weeks, or even months before they muster up enough courage to take on such an emotional task.

In some cases, parents who have lost a child will leave their rooms untouched as a way to preserve their presence. Other times, people tend to clean out a loved one’s apartment several weeks after their passing, distributing their belongings among friends and family members as a way to remember the person they have come to know and love.

Sometimes, things can be even harder in cases where an estate may be considered of high value, restricting family members to distribute any of the deceased possessions if the estate is undergoing probate.

However, there are some things you can do that will make it a lot easier for yourself and others.

Don’t embark on this alone 

For any person that might need to clear out a house or a rental apartment of a passed loved one, doing so by yourself can take a heavy emotional toll on your well-being. Instead, ask a sympathetic friend or family member to help you during the clearing-out process. You don’t need to do this alone, and asking for help is one of the easiest things you can start by doing.

Take the time you need 

As with anything when it comes to saying goodbye to a loved one, take the time you need to process everything you encounter during the cleaning process. If you stumble across something that reminds you of your relationship with that person, take the trip down memory lane, but be cautious of not wasting all your time sorting through all their belongings.

Throw out unnecessary things first

There will be items you won’t be able to keep, simply because they’re not as valuable or nostalgic. Items such as electronics, appliances, beds, or even stacks of old magazines, papers, unimportant documents, old bedding, or even the shaggy carpet. Get rid of these sorts of things first, as this will help make more room for the important pieces you might end up keeping.

Divide cleaning over several days 

Whether you’re tasked to clean out a grandparent’s estate home on the farm, or perhaps an apartment in the city, take several days of the week to get through everything, and don’t try and do it all in one go. Dividing the cleaning over several days will give you and others enough time to appropriately go through everything, and keep what’s important to you.

Decide what to do with everything

This might be the hardest part for every person – deciding what to do with the person’s belongings. In some instances, family members might already have an idea of who is allocated what, if there is a will or declaration that was written up by the deceased beforehand.

When it comes to friends or even a long-lost relative, decide among each other who gets what, and what you will do with the remaining items. Often it’s better to enrich other people’s lives with these belongings by donating them to a charity, or selling it and dividing the money among each other.

Take pictures when in doubt 

If you’re unsure of whether to keep or throw something out, snap a picture of it, and save it on your phone or computer. Instead of holding onto it, only for it to gather dust in your home, be more mindful of what to do with the memorable items you’re unable to hold onto.

Give yourself time to grief 

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself grieving, or having a hard time realizing that the person is no longer among us. You will find days where it’s easier than others to clear out rooms and cupboards. For the somewhat harder days, give yourself room to properly grieve, and make peace with everything going forward.

Say your final goodbyes

At the very last stage, once everything has been cleaned out, packed away, and donated, have a small ritual with your family or friends. Saying a prayer, reading a poem, or even having dinner in that apartment one last time as a way to say your final goodbyes.

On whichever side of the fence you may be sitting, getting through this arduous task takes courage, and emotional support from others.

Remember to be supportive of each other, and take the time about the things you find around the house that you’d like to keep or share with other family members. More hands make a lot less work, but also, be mindful of one another during this difficult time, and remember to have a supportive attitude throughout this journey.