I’ve always struggled with people who ask a lot of personal questions, but eventually, thanks to a friend, I’ve figured out how to deal with nosy people.

The lady with the dog

When I was a teenager and still lived with my parents, it happened to me when I was walking my dog, to come across a lady who was also walking hers.

This lady, of a similar age to my parents, lived with her family on the same block.

When I saw her, she couldn’t help but fire questions at me.

No sooner had I finished answering one question than she asked the next.

It was unpleasant because I didn’t feel like I was participating in a conversation but instead being interrogated.

It was as if she considered me an object, a machine to satisfy her insatiable curiosity, but not a human being.

I would have appreciated exchanging a real conversation with her.

However, each time I didn’t know how to make her stop and understand that it was unpleasant without disrespecting her.

What to do in this kind of situation, to not answer? It would have been awkward, and I had respect for that lady.

Tell her that her avalanche of questions was unpleasant? It would have hurt her.

The only way I could find to escape her interrogation was when I saw her from afar to change my itinerary discreetly.

That said, sometimes I couldn’t avoid her. I then found myself face-to-face with her and enduring her bombardment of questions.

After that, I felt as if my body was emptied of its energy for a while.

The feisty intern

How do other people do in this kind of situation?

I know some people who wouldn’t answer the lady with the dog or tell her point-blank that she is too nosy.

But what about when you find yourself in a situation where you have to take care of your relationships, such as at work?

I remember when I started working in a new company.

At noon, the team of which I was a part, including the team leader and the head of the department, went to eat together in the canteen.

Each time, this fiery young trainee asked me embarrassing questions continuously, just like the lady with the dog.

In front of my colleagues and superiors, I had to politely answer one question after another while paying attention so that the answers could not be misinterpreted.

As I was new to the company, I needed to make a good impression.

While the rest of the team ate silently and listened, I tried somehow to get out of this situation like a fish tangled in a fisherman’s net.

It was stressful. I wish I could have the interrogation stopped diplomatically.

Each meal became an ordeal. I end up dreading lunchtime and finding an excuse not to go.

I was relieved when the trainee finally finished her internship.

How to deal with nosy people

I finally learned how to deal with nosy people.

It was by observing a friend of mine that I found the solution.

This friend is a badass. She is assertive and doesn’t let anyone take advantage of her.

I had noticed several times that when someone asked her a question she didn’t like, without answering, she immediately asked a question back.

In fact, I sometimes experienced it. After having asked her a question that had unintentionally embarrassed her, she fired back with a question.

I found myself thinking about my answer, forgetting that she hadn’t answered my question.

So I told her I didn’t know what to do when nosy people bombarded me with questions.

I added that I had noticed that when someone asked her an uncomfortable question, she turned the question back.

She replied that she used this trick so often that she didn’t even notice it anymore.

According to her, it was very effective and immediately calmed down people who liked firing questions at others.

She said it usually only took one or two boomerang questions to make nosy people stop and look for another victim.

Curious people didn’t appreciate having to answer questions either.

Does the trick to dealing with nosy people work? 

I tried the trick to deal with nosy people, and it works.

As soon as I realize someone is starting an interrogation or the question is uncomfortable, I ask a boomerang question with a big smile.

No need to ask an embarrassing question, just ask a harmless one.

While the other person is answering, I think about the next question to ask them.

Quite quickly, I can see that the person opposite loses interest in the conversation and wants to end it.

Of course, If I’m having a genuine conversation with someone, I’m not using this knack because I don’t need to. In this case, it would be rude.

However, when a nosy person bombards me with questions that make me feel uncomfortable, this trick allows me to deal with the situation without repercussions.