I saw the ad on FaceBook for readings with a local astrologer.  I had finally learned to trust my intuition, and knew that I needed to make an appointment for a session.  This was not a regular thing I did-meet with an astrologer.  In fact, I’d only had had two other readings in my life.  But this was right.  I knew that I wanted to write my story and needed to find out my planetary inclinations.  If the moon can rule the tides it makes sense that the alignment of the planets on the day of one’s birth can deeply affect the way their life transpires. Right?   

I was led up to an apartment by a calm and reassuring woman, Liz, who booked my appointment.  She introduced me to Francis, and we greeted each other with a firm handshake.  Liz left us alone.  I had no fear, only anticipation.  I had learned as a community health nurse that if my hackles weren’t raised, I was safe.  The room itself was quite bland.  It looked as if no one really lived in it.  No personal effects that told me anything about my astrologer.   I guessed that it was a sample apartment to show to perspective renters.  He wanted the focus on his client, not on him or his surroundings. He was very tall, bald, and dressed in a tee shirt and jeans.  I liked him immediately. 

Francis, in an unusual blended accent of Irish, Scottish and English, provided a brief introduction to astrology.  He asked me my birthdate as well as time and place of my birth.  I knew the time of my birth because my mother always called me at precisely 11:10 AM on my birthday.  That makes her sound warm and caring which she was to most people, but not usually to me.  He put the information in to his phone app. 

 At this point I was thinking,

“What the hell!  I could do that!  For this I paid $150!”

“Your mother’s all over this chart,” he murmured.

“That does’t surprise me at all,” I replied with a nervous laugh.

His “reading” was more like a soliloquy dotted with Taoist and Buddhist philosophies and sprinkled with expletives.  He kept stressing that there was only the present; something I was well aware of from my Buddhist and yoga studies.  But was I living it?When I spoke of my previous depressions and anxiety Francis reminded me that focus on the past causes depression, and focus on the future leads to anxiety.

 He kept saying, “Show me your depression”.  

Then, “You cannot because it doesn’t exist.”

 He paced about the room and kept asking, 

“Do you understand, Christine?”

I felt as if he was on a mission to right all the wrongs of my life.  Everything he said was crystal clear.

My sun sign is Pisces and my moon is in Aquarius, quite a contradictory combo!  Apparently it is my destiny to spend a good deal of time with the pixies and the fairies-true. That explained my backyard nest building!  While at the same time my compassion led me to care for others. So mothering, hospice nursing, massage therapy, and acupuncture now had their genesis explained. My Aquarian Moon supplied the strong will and rebellion I demonstrated so often.  Francis described me as Che Guevara on steroids, giving everyone the metaphorical finger.  Spot on!  When I would bring up the scars inflicted by my mother he would say,

“Don’t complain about your mother.  You chose her in this life so you had someone to say, “ ‘Fuck you,’ to every day.”

Upon hearing this I remembered two other big, ah-hah moments that had long been forgotten, or at least not put to good use.  One was an admonishment from an Australian Buddhist nun when I had spent a week with her in meditation and dharma talks.  She chastised our entire group, saying, “You Americans. You blame everything on your mothers.  Your mothers gave birth to you, fed you, and didn’t kill you.  Now get over it!”

The other lesson was one I learned in my Taoist acupuncture school.  The president often said, “You can tell a different story about anything anytime you choose.”

Francis had awakened me to what I already knew, but had been ignoring.  It made day. perfect sense to reframe my past, vanquish all the self-pity.  I left that room with relief and a deep sense of gratitude for our time together.  I put down a lot of burdens that

day.