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Do you believe your value as a woman decreases with age?

Have you been conditioned to think life ends after 25? Or 40? Or 50?

When I was 26, someone in my family told me that since she was younger than me, she was now automatically prettier than me. When I was 27, I was told I was an ageing woman by my boyfriend at the time (needless to say he was not my boyfriend for long after that).

Countless times, I have heard that women were only pretty until they reached a certain age, a certain date, and so on. As if women had an expiration date…then were done, useless, expired. As if a woman’s worth was only linked to how she looked. And as if there was no beauty after 25.

As if ageing was something to fear, like death. Because in some aspect after that expiry date, people would treat you like you were nothing. It’s like there was this invisible ghost inviting you to hide and wait until you would die.

And it is not just beauty that seems to stop after we age; there is also the belief that there is an expiration date to start anew, that there is an expiration date for travelling far, that there is an expiration date for falling in love all over again, that there is an expiration date for starting something new…as if life will become boring and still after a certain age.

So many times, I hear in my life and coaching sessions that phrase: “I am too old for this.”

When I was younger, I was therefore conditioned to dread getting old.

I remember tears running down my cheeks one day as I turned 25 with the realisation that getting old was inevitable, and that I was reaching that perceived expiration date.

The uncanny thing that happened is that as I grew older, actually the exact opposite happened.

I started to feel more beautiful within.

I started to love my body more.

I started to love life deeper.

I started to have more moments of awe and beauty.

I started to do things I was not able to do when I was younger.

In my 30s, I experienced the miracle of life and gave birth to two beautiful boys and started to become in awe with my body.

I actually completely changed my life at 40. From working for 20 years in the medtech industry, I followed my heart and became a yoga teacher and a life coach, empowering other women to find joy in life. I created my own business in alignment with my deeper self.

As I grew older and looked in the mirror, I managed to think, feel, and believe: “I look rad!” whereas my younger self would always find all of the imperfections in the reflection in the mirror.

As I grew older, my body felt stronger, and I was able to move and do things I was not able to do in my 20s. I trekked for a week in the Larapinta. I managed to build up the strength, flexibility, and courage to do some yoga poses that seemed impossible in my 20s.

I courageously sat through a few Ayahuasca ceremonies to face my shadows, something I would never have had the guts to do when I was younger.

I said yes to being part of a music band and am now playing gigs in venues and festivals.

I managed to speak my mind more often and with more grace.

I managed to ask for raises at my work or raise my prices in my own business, as I started to believe in my worth as a coach and teacher.

I managed to say I love you to people I was not able to in my youth, by fear of rejection.

I managed to live with less fear, more love, and more compassion, for myself and other.

I think the most important lesson is that I managed to see the humanity, beauty, and potential in all other beings.

So here is some news for you:

Life does not stop after 25.

Beauty does not stop after 25.

Your body does not have to stop functioning with age.

You don’t have an expiry date.

Life actually keeps getting better, richer, and more beautiful if you allow yourself to see and feel it.

We are a society, so let’s decide to redefine what growing old means to us as a whole.

Growing old could mean growing wiser, being more at peace with oneself and others. It could mean slowing down in a good way. It could mean being amazing and vital mentors for the younger generation. Growing old could mean following your ultimate passion. Growing old could mean being the seed of peace, love, and compassion to the world.

I am inviting you, me, all of us to reshape our conditioning.

Can you imagine living in a world where we value getting old, where we cherish our elders, where we don’t fear getting old, therefore don’t try to stay young at any cost? Can you imagine what it would do to our younger generations and our world?

Let’s do it. Because we can. Because we must.

With love and gratitude.

~

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