For the longest time, I dreamt of being a mother, not only to my own children but to all the mothers, fathers, and children in the universe. To join those who are paving the way, beaming in love and shining a light on birth, blood, spiritual and fertility choices for all beings.

After going through a long and heavy experience undertaking IVF and my body screaming at me “This is not for me”, I continued my journey choosing a different pathway, one I was surprised to find. I immersed myself into the world of the sacred sexual feminine arts. Here, I discovered Yoni Massage and Breath Work. These adventures helped me step over the precipice, shedding all of my old limiting beliefs, patterns, and trauma from this life and past lives. As I step into being, and take action for the future.

As the beautiful Jane Hardwicke Collings shares, “Blessed Be”, “Blessed do”. Some days it is tough. I feel I am dying internally as I let go of the past pain. Then, on days like today, I remember that I have this. I believe and trust that I am worthy of my dreams and desires. I believe you are too.

The glimmer of hope and light that turns into a bright and glorious light of Love helps me to remember that I am worthy, and so are you.

Now, my question is, How do I lead? How do I convey what I have gone through, that gut-wrenching grief I let go of when I bleed to help others? How do we share our deepest wounds when those wounds are invisible? I have learned to lean into trust and love that all my intentions and desires of being The Mother a divine union within myself, and the divine conception union with my husband will be in divine timing, to truly surrender to the process, to the divine, and just be.

As whispers come in every day from my beautiful, caring spirit babies I brought through from a past life time whilst receiving a Yoni Massage at the Yoni Massage Practitioner Training retreat is power, grace, and love, to break the patterns of my ancestors, my grandmother, and my mother, to make a different choice for an embodied, empowered, divine union, conception, pregnancy, and birth, to birth the future generations of change, to make a different choice, and to voice it to the universe. I am here to birth life into the universe as a creative fertility choice. To birth life, babies, children, adoption, business, creativity projects, art, music, whatever your heart desires and bring it to life.

So how do I see and feel my creative fertility choice play out in my being?

I have sat with this question for such a long time now, and the answer has eluded me for so long that I didn’t know how it was going to happen for me, as I was and still am sitting with such a big dream and didn’t really believe it could be possible until now. I now know, fully know with all my being, and believe everything is possible as long as you trust in the process and believe that you are worthy of whatever is meant to be for the highest good of all.

Forget about how, what, or when it is going to get you there; just trust. Trust in your heart’s desires. Trust that every step you take, your Highest Self, Spirit, God, Universe, or whatever delicious word you choose for yourself, is going to be there every step of the way, guiding you, trusting you to make a different choice, and auctioning on that choice to get you to your dreams and desires, however big or small, because you are the power.

So here I am, sitting, writing, and proclaiming myself to my dreams and desires, for I desire and am choosing to take time and space for the divine union within my heart, to merge the divine masculine and the divine feminine, to create and communicate with my spirit babies and my husband for an empowered, embodied, conscious, loving conception, pregnancy, birth, life, and death. For I desire for my husband and I to consciously co-parent from home, raising our children in an eco, sustainable way by growing high vibration foods and creating healing herbal oils with and loving Mother Gaia. For I desire my husband to be by my side creating and holding space for masculine and feminine retreats, and circles whilst voicing our voices to the universe, reaching out to the feminine and masculine beings that you have a choice with your fertility rites, blood rites, birthing rites, and spiritual rites if you choose to make a different choice, within your mind, body, and soul, that reflects back out into the universe right now in this moment.

As I desire and choose to be an Earthly Mother not only to my children but to my family, soul family, community, wider community, and to all. For I am becoming The Mother, being The Mother, I am The Mother and the Future Future Mother, as I am the divine feminine of the Angelic Goddess Kingdom of Father Sky that sends through light codes, transmuting and anchoring in golden light to Mother Earth, with all of her mysteries spoken through my heart’s voice, that vibrates its way through to all the vibrations of Father Sky and Mother Earth, for all Feminine and Masculine of the Universe to feel what is true for you. As I walk and sit in this sacred land of the indigenous people, I flow with the energy of my surroundings, the native animals, natural foods, and the ancestors that whisper words of wisdom through the wind, rain, and Australian bush. I am Opening up to all the possibilities of the teachings of the Common Brown Butterfly as they spread their wings for the first time, flowing with the breeze and light as I walk through the fields of long grass and the old eucalypt forest of new.

After I went through the toughest—emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual—training while studying Yoni Massage Practitioner Training and Breathe work, I have come out the other side filled with love and gratitude—to become pregnant, to be pregnant—I am pregnant with life.

I am and you are a Lived expression of Life and Love, birthing life into the Universe, and entrusting you to make a different choice for you and the universe for the highest good of all.