Do you know the difference between being depressed, and depression?

There is a difference, and while symptoms may be similar, everyone experiences them differently ~ just like everything in life, we experience it based on our past, on how we were taught to manage things, on how we see others manage and who we are.

I have a major depressive disorder ~ hard to believe huh?

Me jumping on Youtube with videos, and reels and tiktoks…. perky, funny, silly and full of passion and a wealth of information. Who would think I have depression?

Here’s the thing though, we never know what is going on for others in their life, even if they share what is going on, we can never truly understand the impact, as we are seeing something through our eyes and experience, not theirs.

I remember when I first worked through depression. I seriously didn’t believe that it was possible to work through.

To be able to find a happy place.

What was happiness…. nothing came to mind. And that is what chronic depression does, it steals the happiness away. We become miserable, and dark. Everything about life becomes dark.

I often call this ‘the abyss’, and I feel like I am suffocating under water in the deepest abyss.

Sometimes I have felt that I am in a different reality to everyone else, and there is a glass wall that I can see everyone through, but they don’t see me. We can never connect.

It doesn’t feel like there is a choice to change things. Where do you even start?

I’ve known many others in this space too, and sometimes they don’t want to leave the darkness. It feels like they were consumed by it.

At this point, it is hard to find your own inner light.

In truth, it doesn’t matter if others tell you how great you are, how much you’ve achieved, or what you have to be grateful for ~ you have to believe this for yourself. And this is the challenge.

For me, way back when this was bad (and it still is at times), I had to stop focusing on me. On ‘how to make me happy’.

This was when I started helping animals. And it was the same time I got into aquaponics… so, a long time ago.

I could see the potential, and I could see how aquaponics could help others.

This helped me to see something beyond me.

At this time I was also volunteering with animals, and while the people around me didn’t understand, the animal connections were beautiful. I did so much work with animals, manual work cleaning, rearranging, supporting.

Again, helping others ~ in this case animals, helped me to step out of the depression and into life again.

Now when I sink into the abyss, it takes time, but I crawl out again. I’m around water, and while it feels like it is hard to breathe, I look at the different parts of my aquaponics systems and see miracles happening everywhere.

I see ‘flow’. I see interconnectedness. I see life.

It can take time, but it is there.

We each have our own journey and struggles. I can only ever talk about mine… and try to inspire with what I’ve experienced.

I recorded this as looking at aquaponics as a form of garden therapy for depression. It was for me.

But the truth is, you have to find your purpose and passion. You have to find something beyond you to work towards, and that helps to keep the demons at bay.

Watch this: https://youtu.be/iN9XhYSy5eA

Maybe it can help inspire you, or at least help you see that you are not alone.

It might not be relevant to you, but if it is to someone you know, share it with them.