International OCD Awareness Week 8-14 October 2023
Let’s also bring awareness to the growing phenomenon of Relationship OCD (ROCD)
Practising as a counsellor and cognitive behaviour therapist in the UK, I work primarily with OCD sufferers and have done so for over a decade with people worldwide.
With International OCD Awareness Week upon us, I’d like to not only share a little information about OCD so that we can all understand, support and empathise with people who suffer from this condition but also share the growing phenomenon of relationship OCD, a lesser-known subset of OCD.
Awareness of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is gradually increasing, moving away from the inaccurate and stereotypical label of a personality trait and towards the debilitating mental health condition it is. OCD has consistently been made light of and de-valued in favour of believing a person wants to be neat, tidy or clean. The World Health Organisation’s statistical data finds that around 1-3% of the world’s population experiences this mental health condition.
OCD can start in early childhood, young adulthood and sometimes later in life.
So, what is it?
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is characterised by a cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. People with OCD typically experience intrusive and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that cause anxiety and distress. These obsessive thoughts can revolve around cleanliness, symmetry, safety, harm, health, relationships, anything that holds meaning or value in a person’s life.
In response to these distressing thoughts, people with OCD engage in compulsions or repetitive behaviours (rituals) to alleviate their anxiety or prevent a feared outcome. Compulsions may include repetitive actions like excessive handwashing, checking, organising, counting, or constant reassurance seeking.
OCD is NOT simply a preference or habit but a diagnosable mental health condition that significantly impacts a person’s daily life and well-being. It does NOT reflect a person’s identity, character or personality.
OCD affects people of all backgrounds and can manifest in different ways. It is a chronic condition often requiring ongoing treatment, including therapy and medication. However, with proper support, many people with OCD can manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives.
? Raise Awareness for ROCD! ?
So, let’s take a moment to talk about something important today – and raise awareness for relationship OCD (ROCD).
This subset of OCD is increasing since living in a world of social media can sometimes make people feel like they’re constantly comparing their relationships to others. But did you know that relationship OCD (ROCD) is a real thing that affects millions of individuals worldwide? ?
ROCD can cause intrusive thoughts, doubts, and excessive worries about a romantic relationship. It’s time to break the stigma and spread understanding about this often-misunderstood condition. Many people I support suffer in silence, feeling isolated, alone, frustrated, embarrassed, ashamed and guilty towards the content of their thoughts and accompanying feelings.
Here are a few questions to get you thinking and encourage meaningful discussions in the comments or with friends and family in your life:
1️. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by doubts or insecurities in your relationship due to social media comparisons?
2️. What steps do you take to maintain a healthy mindset and avoid falling into the trap of ROCD?
3️. How can we, as a society, be more supportive and understanding towards individuals struggling with ROCD?
- Do you know a family member, friend or work colleague who constantly checks in with you regarding their relationship, searching for reassurance? How do you respond? Typically, the reassurance sought is around repetitive thoughts the OCD sufferer experiences and searching for answers, so it is common to assume that if these thoughts keep popping up, the relationship might not be good, which is shared with the sufferer.
- Do you have preconceived ideas about a ‘perfect relationship’?
- Do you believe in “the one”? Do you question how you might find the answer?
- Do you ruminate for hours, hauling through your past and speculating your future?
- Do you fear being unfaithful or cheating on your partner, even though you have no desire to do so?
- Do you constantly question your feelings for your partner and doubt if you truly love them?
- Do you obsess about past relationships or ex-partners, comparing them to your current relationship?
- Do you fear losing your partner and constantly seek reassurance from them?
- Do you experience intrusive thoughts about you or your partner being attracted to other people or being unfaithful?
- Do you excessively worry about the future of your relationship and if it will last?
- Do you overanalyse every little interaction or comment from your partner, looking for hidden meanings or signs of dissatisfaction?
- Do you perform compulsive behaviours or rituals to alleviate anxiety, such as the constant checking of your own feelings or reassurance-seeking?
- Do you experience extreme guilt, shame or embarrassment over thoughts or doubts about your relationship?
- Do you become preoccupied with hypothetical scenarios or “what if” thoughts that could potentially harm your relationship?
Three years ago, recognising my increasing work-load of supporting OCD sufferers and the impact that OCD can have on people’s relationships prompted me to write a book, which was published in June 2023, called ‘Relationship OCD, Is it a thing’, offering educational content and guided self-help techniques to manage relationship OCD more effectively, rather than relying on old coping strategies that only serve to lead the OCD sufferer round and round in circles on a vicious cycle. The link is below if any of the information above resonates with you or if you recognise these traits in other people close to you.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/ROCD-thing…/dp/1802279857/
Let’s all learn to understand OCD better to support our friends, family and loved ones.
To finish off, here are a few myth debunkers to help:
- Myth: OCD is just being excessively neat and organised.
Fact: OCD is much more than being neat and organised. It involves intrusive thoughts and obsessions that lead to compulsive behaviours that individuals feel driven to repeat, often causing intense distress.
2. Myth: OCD is a personality quirk or a choice.
Fact: OCD is a mental health disorder, not a personality trait or choice. It is a neurobiological condition caused by genetic, environmental, and neurological factors.
- Myth: People with OCD can “snap out of it” or control their behaviours.
Fact: Individuals with OCD often cannot control their obsessions or compulsions. Trying to resist or stop the behaviours can cause extreme anxiety and distress. Treatment, including therapy and medication, is typically required to manage symptoms effectively.
4. Myth: OCD only manifests in visible physical behaviours.
Fact: While some individuals with OCD may exhibit visible compulsions like excessive hand-washing or checking locks, many individuals experience purely mental obsessions without any visible signs. Examples include intrusive thoughts about harm, contamination, or symmetry.
5. Myth: OCD is rare.
Fact: OCD is more common than many people realise. It affects around 2-3% of the population worldwide, making it one of the most prevalent mental health disorders. It can affect individuals of any age, gender, or ethnicity.
6. Myth: OCD is a phase that people will eventually grow out of.
Fact: OCD is a chronic condition that typically requires long-term management. Without proper treatment, symptoms may worsen over time. However, with the right therapy and support, individuals with OCD can learn to manage their symptoms effectively and live fulfilling lives.
7. Myth: OCD is a heightened level of cleanliness or perfectionism.
Fact: While cleanliness or perfectionism can be components of OCD, the disorder encompasses many obsessions and compulsions that extend far beyond these traits. OCD can manifest in various forms, such as hoarding, intrusive thoughts, excessive doubting, or religious obsessions.
- Fact: OCD can co-exist/overlap with other conditions such as depression, generalised anxiety disorders (GAD), eating disorders, ADHD, autism, and post-traumatic stress disorder.By debunking these myths and increasing awareness, we can support understanding and compassion for individuals suffering from this debilitating condition called OCD.
Tracy Foster
Dip.Couns, Dip.CBT (Registered MBACP)
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