As a woman, you have likely faced pressure from others to look or act a certain way.

The negative self-body image makes us feel less confident and significantly impacts other parts of our lives, including sex life.

The feeling of low self-confidence and unworthiness often come from narrow and unrealistic beauty standards that leave many of us feeling like we are not enough and undeserving of love and sexual pleasure, which can be challenging to overcome.

But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to conform to these standards. Embracing body positivity and sexual confidence can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your skin.

To support you on this journey, let me take you through some tips and advice on embracing your body and boosting your sexual confidence.

A Key to Feel Sexually Confident

It’s worth noting that there is a strong correlation between body image and your sex life. Studies suggest that people with a positive body image are likelier to enjoy good sex.

With that being said, worries about weight, physical appearance, and thoughts on how good we look during sex are linked to reduced sexual pleasure.

To improve your sexual well-being, adopting body positivity could prove beneficial. Such an approach has been linked to enhanced sexual confidence, which can help make you feel less self-conscious and more present during intimacy.

Sexual confidence is not only limited to people who meet conventional beauty standards. It’s all about feeling secure and comfortable with yourself and your partner.

Here are some tips for building sexual confidence:

Communication: talking about your needs with your partner can lead to closure, deeper understanding and appreciation of each other. You can feel more connected and supported by staying vulnerable, checking in with one another, and directing through body language.

Focus on the sensations your body is experiencing rather than how you look or what your partner might think: staying curious about what’s going on with your body will help you feel present in the moment and, ultimately, enjoy the experience.

Engaging in non-sexual activities with your partner will help you relax and feel more grounded and connected. Consider taking a bath together or giving each other massages to enhance closeness.

Add some spice: experimenting with different lighting, toys, and positions can also give you a more pleasurable experience.

So What Is Exactly Body Positivity?

The first step towards improving your sexual confidence through body positivity is to understand what it means. Body positivity is all about embracing your body, regardless of shape, size, or imperfections. It’s all about challenging harmful beauty standards and societal pressures that dictate what our bodies should look like.

Embracing Body Neutrality

Negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about our bodies can hold us back and put challenges in our sex lives. Research has shown that women who struggle with body image issues more often experience lower sexual desire and reduced arousal, avoid intimacy, and have less sexual satisfaction.

While body positivity encourages you to love your bodies and always stay positive about them, body neutrality invites you to simply accept your bodies for what they are and appreciate them for all they can do for you. Your body is a unique and valuable gift you receive when you’re born. And it’s the vessel that carries you through every experience, both positive and negative. By letting go of the self-criticism you may have internalized over a long time, you can cultivate a greater sense of self-love for who you are.

Make Self-Compassion a Part of Your Journey

Put more simply, speak to yourself as kindly as you would to someone you deeply love.

Next time you notice talking to yourself in a negative key, acknowledge it at the moment and gently remind yourself about being more compassionate. Bringing your focus back again, even if it seems to be challenging at first. Still, this approach can help you develop a non-judgemental awareness and appreciation of your body by allowing you to quiet your inner critic.

Start cultivating self-care routines that prioritize your love for yourself by introducing little signs of gestures to yourself, whichever makes you feel at best. It doesn’t have to be something complicated. Take a moment to appreciate how much you have accomplished during the day, give yourself a break and take a moment to breathe, take some time to do a favourite skincare routine, or do something as simple as brushing your hair with love can make a big difference.

Overcoming Body Image Issues

Sexual experiences can be less satisfying when you feel shame, anxiety, or self-consciousness. Society and even our parents can send messages that label sex shameful. Studies show that feelings of embarrassment and judgment significantly affect how we see ‘normal’ bodies and perceive sexuality.

Remember that intimacy is a completely natural and normal part of human nature, and there is no need to feel ashamed of it. If you are experiencing any negative beliefs or thoughts related to intimacy, it can negatively impact your confidence and self-esteem. You can start working on identifying and changing these unhelpful thoughts to positive ones.

If you find yourself struggling with body image issues, here are a few things you could do to overcome them:

• Practise self-affirmations

One way to reframe those negative thoughts is by practising self-affirmations. You might find it helpful to search for online videos or podcasts that focus on body acceptance.

• Practice positive self-talk

Challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself if they’re based on facts or just someone else’s opinion. Then, replace them with empowering ones. After some practice, you’ll start seeing the difference in your thinking and noticing your self-talk is improving.

• Seek professional help

Seeing a therapist can be really beneficial in identifying and changing old thinking patterns and improving your confidence. Couples therapy can also be a great way to work on sexual confidence with your partner.

Understand your unique sexuality

Discovering and accepting your sexuality can be a deeply personal and unique journey, and being true to yourself is more important than trying to fit in with other people’s expectations. Everyone’s sexuality is different, and there is no right or wrong way to express it. The key here is to remain patient and take things one step at a time. With time and practice, you can overcome any body image issues and embrace your sexuality to the fullest.

Sources

1. Satinsky, S , et al. (2012). ‘An assessment of body appreciation and its relationship to sexual function in women’. Body Image. 9:1. pp. 137-144. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2011.09.007.
2. Stoeber, J, Harvey, LN. (2016). ‘Multidimensional sexual perfectionism and female sexual function: a longitudinal investigation’. Arch Sex Behav. 45:2003-2014. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-016-0721-7
3. Pujols Y, Seal BN, Meston CM. (2010). ‘The association between sexual satisfaction and body image in women’. J Sex Med. 7:905-16. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01604.x
4. Waling A, Farrugia A, Fraser S. (2023). ‘Embarrassment, shame, and reassurance: emotion and young people’s access to online sexual health information. Sex Res Social Policy. 20(1):45-57. https://doi.org/10.1007%2Fs13178-021-00668-6