If you clicked to read, perhaps one of the following resonates:

You’re still searching for “True Love.”

You are a skeptic of “True Love,” whatever the hell it even means.
but deep down, there’s a glimmer of hope.

You chuckle when these 2 words are intertwined,
and you can hardly wait to tear this ridiculous article to shreds.
metaphorically speaking, of course.

Whatever your reason, hello there, and thank you for reading.

Let’s separate these 2 magnetic words for a moment.
And I must start with the all-powerful “Love.”

Love.

Have you ever pondered this dainty yet massive word,“Love”?
Potentially winning the “most complex word in the human language” title.
A Universal word, and yet completely subjective.
And of urgent importance in our current human state.

True.

Let’s skip the solo definition of “True.”
Placing “True” in front of “Love” feels a bit condescending to me.
As if someone else’s experience of “Love” is more real, or true, than another’s.

When one hears “True Love” uttered together, romance likely floods the mind.
As if romantic Love is somehow truer than the Love one feels for and gives to any other being.

Fun Fact: I am a hopeless romantic.
Cheesy-as-fuck hallmark christmas movies begin on November 1st.
And here I sit, divorced and single at age 47.
No children.
Living in my mom’s backyard with my precious puppers, Echo Violet.
I do have a roof, so don’t you fret!

Sounds kinda sad, right?

I have my moments of panic, loneliness, and harsh self-judgment, but only when I allow societal expectations to drown out my inner nurturer.
After all, isn’t something “wrong” when we don’t check the normalized acceptable boxes?

Luckily, I have come to find boxes boring, suffocating at times, and unnecessary for self-worth, peace, and Love within.
And the more Love and compassion I turn inward, the happier I seem to become, and the more Love I have to give.

I do still have hope that the next romantic partner will cartwheel their way into my life when the stars align.
And this hope does indeed burn brighter around the holidays.
I blame the awful hallmark movies, and my adorable, cozy cottage… in my mom’s backyard.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Once upon a time, I was on track for a “normal” life.
Married at 25, we were trying to get pregnant at 30.
I couldn’t wait to be a mother.
When our marriage dissolved, I felt like a failure.
I grieved hard and started having panic attacks.
I would eventually realize that forcing something that is resistant only leads to more pain and suffering.
I am now grateful for our divorce, and our lifelong friendship.
No regrets.
12 years of learning.
And Love.
Lots of Love amidst the times of loneliness and pain.

I fall hard when it comes to romantic Love.
And I have a talent for selecting emotionally unavailable humans.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have to chuckle as I continue to comprehend my personal patterns with matters of romantic Love.
It’s much easier to provide insight and support to others than it is to ingest and live our own wisdom.

Many of us hope to find another human who feels safe, who loves us as we are, who treats us with kindness and respect, who makes us smile and laugh, who challenges us to be our best, who comforts us, and who becomes our best friend.
How many of us have felt like we have found that person, only to discover it isn’t quite as we had dreamed it to be?
How many are in a romantic relationship, and experiencing loneliness on a regular basis?
This was a profound realization for me in my marriage, and I started thinking that I would rather be alone than lonely in a relationship.

Cheers to those incredible couples who make it through this lifetime still intimately connected.
It is no small feat, and I can only imagine how it must feel to make it to the finish line with a partner who has endured much of life right alongside you.

For those who are single, searching, or questioning a current relationship, take some time with yourself.
Explore, journal, and think deeply about what romantic Love means to you.
If you are coupled and struggling, it’s time to dig deep and reflect on your personal values, beliefs, and alignment with your current partner.

If you feel hope for your current relationship, it’s time to get vulnerable with communication.
Scary, I know, but there really is nothing to lose and so much to gain, even if it means the relationship has run its course.

Seek out therapy, both as an individual and as a couple.
Yes, I am a therapist and very much in favor of it.
We check on our physical health, and our mental health is every bit as important and deeply intertwined with our physical being.

Change can be terrifying and overwhelming.
Fear sets in, and we feel trapped and often unable to move.
The unknown is just too much to bear.
The “what ifs” and “hows” grow louder in our minds.
Remove the fear for a moment, and what is underneath?
What do you, individually, want to cultivate in this lifetime for more peace, fulfillment, and happiness?
Meditation, breath-work, and yoga are all invaluable tools that can help you align your body and mind.

I feel unbelievably fortunate for all the sources of Love in my own life.

My tiny doggie soul mate.

Completely changing life course to move closer to my parents.
This quality time with them both has transformed my life and shifted my priorities.

15 years of vividly rich memories created while directing an incredible modern dance program,
A dream job that I hadn’t even dreamed.
Lots of signs from the Universe that I am forever grateful for following.                              Beautiful, lifetime connections with alumni.

My collection of intimate friendships.                                                                                            I have amazing people all around, with physical distance having minimal impact.

The connection I feel to Mother Earth, and to all non-human creatures.
“Ahimsa” permanently inked: “Harm None.”

And, perhaps most importantly, the more I learn how to Love my own self, the deeper my capacity for Universal Love.

I wish each of you a season filled with self-reflection, self-Love, and Love that transcends all boxes.

Love that feels True.