First and foremost, I am not judging you.  By any means.

Well, maybe a little.  But truly, it is for your own good, not my own.

I recently gave up being a slave to lust and sexual fantasy for God…without really even realizing what was happening,

You see, I was in one, too (a homosexual relationship, that is).  Not physically, but in my mind.  After all, I am nurturing, caring, and, dare I say, prophetic.  So, I–even as a heterosexually married woman–took on the task of “loving” a friend to help heal her depression and comfort her in her very single state.

It felt somewhat peaceful to have this fantasy–along with many other types of fantasies–but only before I knew what true inner peace felt like.

Because, even though I felt some sense of “comfort” within my fantasies, I also felt devious and guilty within my heart.  I later learned, God is nigh to a contrite heart.  Thank you, Jesus!

Not wanting a lover of the same sex in “real life,” yet yearning for “better” romance than I had in my marriage, around the same time, I feel in love with a man who I thought was available because his wife was in a homosexual relationship.  And, of course, why wouldn’t he want to leave that depressing sitch for me?

Aside from the many reasons he wouldn’t do that (one main one being my horribly low self esteem), knowing what I know now, I would do it all over again.

Because it helped me learn about Jesus, find God, understand His love for me–yes, me. A contrite and humble woman with a servant’s heart–and experience the peace of Christ, what I, imho, believe we are all searching for, way more than truth, sex, validation, or acceptance.

A historical tease, I won’t leave you hanging there.  But I will leave you with this: if you can say without an ounce of doubt or shame or contrition you are TRULY at peace in your homosexual relationship, then <wholly accepting and compassionate shrug>.

If not, please don’t be afraid to turn your broken heart to the Holy Spirit.  He will heal everything–every ounce of shame, pain, heartache–from start to finish–and you will feel whole again.  May you be blessed.  May you be healed.  May you feel loved.