” I am not one and simple, but complex and many” Virginia Woolf – The Waves

As I softly nestle into writing I am hit with a wave and the words of my dear friend J return  “Renee you are turning into another Virginia Woolf”. When he first uttered this I was insulted and then after some soul-digging and exploration, I learned why.

This week I invited Virginia for breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as her ” Room of One’s Own”.Together we ate, sipped tea and toast and explored what it means to be a creative female in this modern world.

I said yes to her sharing and her words filled my heart and soul.

According to Virginia female writers need money and a room of their own to be successful and possibly stay sane. I have added the ” sane”.  I agree and have taken this further adding that women writers need security to write and safety; every creative needs this, and women work hard to achieve this, especially on their own. In terms of relationships and sharing a life this has been my fear.

I ask myself: ” will my partner give me the space and freedom to create, will they be needy and selfish with time and attention, and will my future partner respect that I have taken my need for a room and created a house and a home?”

My house is my sanctuary and the quiet and serenity helps me to delve deep into creative work., At this stage of my creative writing and projects, I need space more than ever. My home has become an artistic cottage and a refuge from life’s storms.

As the week turned into the weekend a few more female writers joined in over coffee in the hub of my house. Austin, Emily and Virginia now all chimed in. I listened with full attention as I made my pour-over coffee. I watched in disbelief as they moved about the kitchen and laughed in succession. I leaned in and listened before offering my piece.

I have become my own home I offer. Any man that wishes to join me needs to understand this. Wherever I go I shall be my own home and I am open to travel and roam. When needed I will need to retreat to the quiet sanctuary with a cat, books and my pen. I want a man I do not need a man and I do have money and a room of my own. I have an entire house. They all nodded in admiration and glee and poured more honey into their tea.

Atlas, Virginia whispered, ” Darling, there are no excuses just write”.

This is my message and my lesson to let go of my ego’s grip and return to home which is sanctuary and write out my heart and soul. The body is home and the emotions that rise are visitors and writing is a great gift. Thank you Dear Virginia and happy bday dear one.