He kept me waiting, so I decided he wasn’t worth my time.  We were fresh out of COVID-19’s quarantine and let’s just say my tolerance was low and boundaries were high.  I blew him off once he finally reached out and I met up with a friend instead.  That night, I got home on the biggest high.  I snagged a video I recorded earlier of myself fresh-faced waiting for my date, and posted it on Insta with the following spew of 30 second word vomit:

Turn your sound on for all the vibes (Taylor Swift playing)

because this is

What every girl looks like

streaming Taylor’s new album

And/or seeing herself

When effort goes into appearance

Feeling pretty but Won’t delete later

After months of sweats & Scrunchies

Fuck what anyone thinks in this shit show

Earth uprooted, filters finally flee

Sitting here tossing around wet hair and zero fucks

Make-up for an effortless facade

Outfit picked daringly,

Neon orange skirt hugging my hips

Sneaks’ carrying my feet

Prepped to walk away

Or initiate a dance or two

Wrestling among expectations,

Too many and none at all

Ready to sit across the table

and listen though,

How do you spend a Sunday?

Can you manage without your phone?

The infamous, “Why are you single?” directed

back at me.

I’m Ready to hear dreams of tomorrow

& get L O S T in idealistic visions

Even though my Rose-tinted shades are stored away

Maybe this’ll be the time for clear eyes

and open hearts

Snapping selfies while I wait

Sending kisses to my mom

because no matter how old

She will endlessly worry

and I think it’s sweet to be so loved

Waiting for a first date

Who was too many minutes too late

What fool think it’s okay

to be tardy for a teacher?

Lowered my fists and

Took myself out instead

Thought maybe I’d bump into someone funny &

easy on the eyes & who knows

how to respect people’s time

Wouldn’t that be lucky?

Life doesn’t work that way.

Not until another dust bite

And a few more falls,

Finding everything I need

at the bottom.

Last night’s cap found me

blasting “Exile” and

holding hands with my girlfriend

Best kind of soul food,

with a side of 90 degree breeze

Singing at the top of our lungs

“Like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me”

I can ride this wave and clinkRose’ glasses

Surf the unknown and the unfolding

Where I’ve been and where I’m going,

It’s all so fucking thrilling

beautifully blank pages

& always a surprise

At the  next corner ahead.

Ink anticipates covering the white,

So in love with this life.

Ready?  Always am.  And

As Swift says,

“I had a marvelous time

ruining everything.”