The KateGate conspiracy theories, the invasions of privacy, the awful articles, the comments and replies and posts…we should feel awful. This is an example of what I’ve written about before about the importance of feeling shame, sometimes, when we do something shameful.

A few general points:

1. All those rumormill/conspiracy theories (the wild ones) make money for Big Tech, so they encourage it.We have to remember to get off the social media/Trumpian hate rage machine and ground ourselves in decency. A culture of sanity is basic and possible.
2. Didn’t engage in the conspiracy pressure gossip? Good onya. It felt icky throughout, even having no idea this was why.
3. The PR disaster / photoshop imbroglio? Who cares, really. We all try to choose photos that look best. C’mon. Let’s get off it.
4. “The entitlement of everybody is very concerning. Didn’t we learn from Princess Diana? We need to leave good people alone. Everyone should take the attention they put on this and put the effort into their own self growth. Enough already. This woman owes you nothing.” This. Thank you. Harry bleeds with this knowledge, when he speaks about the paparazzi and public culture around them
5. It’s all the Crown’s/Media’s fault, not ours? Don’t fully agree–the press(even the tabloid yellow scummy press) serves up what we want, and we need to know that wanting this is not good for us. or, maybe, we just don’t care about what the Royal Family says, or why she’s gone silent, and we live our lives. yes, we can be cynical about them, but that doesn’t mean we have to bully anyone, in the way as one commenter said we all took part in feeding frenzy on Princess Di. So it wasn’t just “the media’s fault,” it was many, many of us. And so while we may blame media, rightly—but, too, we feed it. We click it. We blame fossil fuel companies, while feeding them, and using single-use plastic, etc. We are part of the problem. That’s not bad news, that’s accountability, and that’s growing up—which is good news.
6. As for the blame the “Royal Family/PR disaster” angle? Whelp, that’s one take. Maybe they had no idea what to do, either. Maybe they were grief-stricken, focusing on their children, and had no idea how to meet the moment—you know, human, like all of us. Or, maybe, you know, maybe mom’s cancer is something they didn’t know how to handle. And no, taxpayers don’t deserve to hear about everything immediately from them. Apparently the financial benefits more than equal the expense. In any case, no one owns anyone. So yeah: I think adults can and should take accountability, *and* the Royal Family can take some responsibility.
7. So, in the end, blessings and best wishes to Kate, her family, and most of all to all experiencing such. And to all who refrained from this degraded gossip: thank you for caring about common decency.

“Kate Middleton Reveals She Has Cancer and Is Getting Chemo, Says It Has ‘Taken Time’ to Tell Her Kids”

“In January, I underwent major abdominal surgery in London, and at the time, it was thought that my condition was non-cancerous,” she said. “The surgery was successful. However, tests after the operation found cancer had been present. My medical team therefore advised that I should undergo a course of preventative chemotherapy, and I am now in the early stages of that treatment.”

Calling the news a “huge shock,” Kate said that she and Prince William “have been doing everything we can to process and manage this privately for the sake of our young family. As you can imagine, this has taken time. It has taken me time to recover from major surgery in order to start my treatment.”

“But, most importantly, it has taken us time to explain everything to George, Charlotte and Louis in a way that is appropriate for them, and to reassure them that I am going to be ok,” she said referring to her three children: Prince George, 10, Princess Charlotte, 8, and Prince Louis, 5. “As I have said to them; I am well and getting stronger every day by focusing on the things that will help me heal; in my mind, body and spirits.”

One comment I appreciate: “Wow, for some reason, I was not expecting that. That’s really sad and must have been such a difficult thing to experience, share with your children, and then have the world heavily scrutinize you during that time.”

Another: “Wonder how badly the people and companies who joked about it to sell shit are scrambling to take down their tacky ads now… will be getting a lot of insincere apologies soon.”

“She’s only 42. I know cancer doesn’t have an age where it strikes, but my God she’s so young and has young children. I’m praying that Kate has a complete recovery and her treatment is successful and that her family and kids can find some semblance of peace right now.”

Fuck Cancer.

 

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One last: “This is awful. I normally couldn’t care less about any royals, but I feel terrible for her and her family. It’s so gross and sad that she was essentially forced to make this public announcement after the ridiculous last few weeks.”

Hateful conspiracy theories, gossip, and bully culture is toxic for society, and toxic for the hater both.

Dwelling in shame is unhealthy for the wholesome individual, but accepting shame—or personal accountability, if you prefer—is health for the shameless or narcissistic.

We can create a kinder society—and that begins with having the bravery to feel our feelings honestly, to care about others, and to come back to this sane, real, present moment.