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I love watching “The Big Bang Theory” because I admire Sheldon Cooper’s blind confidence that can be mistaken for arrogance.

It’s a trait I had growing up, but somewhere along the road life humbled me and I coiled myself, allowing my limiting beliefs and intrusive thoughts to win.

I am good at a lot of things but confidence is not one of my strong traits.

That is why the first time I laid my eyes on you, this mysterious towering figure with long blonde hair and the most sparkly, beautiful eyes I have ever seen, I clutched my imaginary pearls and felt the air leaving my lungs.

You took my breath away—literally.

I wanted to say hello but I could not muster the courage to utter that simple word so I stood there, the whole world and the chatter from the crowd around us, all fading in the background.

In that moment, the atmosphere felt hot, my heart was racing, and my mind felt delirious.

You glanced over at me and gave me a half-smile, the kind of “no teeth visible” polite smile that white people give when they do not want to appear rude or too serious.

I did not know how to respond so my reflexes kicked in and I quickly closed the door behind me, disappearing into my office.

You see, it was supposed to be a normal day at work; we were briefed about the arrival of international guests, coming for a religious mission to positively impact the life of disadvantaged children in our society.

My role at the company does not require me to directly engage with our clients. This was a rare occurrence, a chance encounter.

I went to bed that night and I could not erase the memory of your face from my thoughts.

The next few days were spent taking random walks around the facility whenever I could catch a break from work, hoping to run into you.

Ruminating on that brief moment our eyes locked and wishing I had said something.

I disclosed to a friend/colleague, the predicament I was in and after a brief description of you, he jokingly promised to bring you personally to me.

You can imagine the surprise when I saw him walking toward my office with you in tow that evening.

It felt surreal.

I thought I would never see you again.

I’m sure you noticed the stutter in my speech as I struggled to introduce myself to you while simultaneously battling a brain freeze.

Just like I noticed you fidgeting and humming a soft beat to remain calm and collected after we sat down together.

At first, I did not know what exactly we could discuss past the introductions and pleasantries.

We were polar opposites.

You being a staunch white Christian man and I, a devout Black Muslim woman.

We ended up talking for hours that evening, discussing a range of topics from our unique backgrounds, my tumultuous divorce and spiritual journey to seek Allah, to your passion for film, philanthropy, and your love for Jesus Christ.

At face value, we seemed worlds apart in our views and ideologies but I was greatly moved by our mutual love for God, children, and family.

I appreciated our open mindedness, tolerance, and mutual respect to exchange ideas with each other without passing judgement.

At first, I was attracted to your looks but after that night, I respected you as a man and as a human being.

And after finding out that I am almost a decade older than you, it softened my heart to a point that my feelings toward you felt paradoxical.

On one hand, I viewed you through the lens of a mother and felt protective of you.

I saw the innocent, little boy in your eyes, which felt like dealing with a fragile and delicate precious petal.

I thought of your dear mother and imagined the pride and joy she must feel, looking at the fine and absolute gentleman she raised.

Your intelligence (both IQ and EQ), humility, work ethic, religious, and moral virtue…what a delight! I hoped my son would turn out just as great as you have.

On the other hand, I had rose-tinted glasses on and viewed you as a man.

A kind, loving, and considerate man of his word.

I was flattered by your kind compliments; it felt especially rare and honest when you told me I looked beautiful, when the only part of me that was visible to you was my face and hands.

You were not repulsed by my hijab and style of clothing, although it was not familiar to you.

Or when you nudged at me to follow you outside for a goodbye picture and I was nervous to be seen by tens of your colleagues but you assured me that all is well and I have nothing to worry about.

That moment stuck with me because it showed that you do not conform to the emotionally taxing urge to fit in, and are actually connected to yourself, not how other people view you.

Or when you asked if we could pray together and ended up individually mentioning everyone I care about in that prayer (my parents and son).

God is one, routes are many but the destination is the same. May God answer our prayers.

I remember the warmth of the goodbye hug we shared and how small and safe it made me feel.

I may never see you again, but I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for keeping your word and getting that Mother’s Day present I sent for your mum to her on time.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful and desirable.

Thank you for seeing me—I have felt invisible for years. (Divorce does that to you sometimes.)

I have not left this small town in almost seven years because of the barriers in my mind that kept my sense of adventure at bay. But now I feel confident, like a bird out of its cage.

Your short presence in my life ignited a fire in my soul.

Suddenly I can breathe more deeply, laugh more freely, and embrace the present with a childlike wonder.

Thank you for being you…please never change.

I hope our paths will cross again someday (if God wills) and if not, I love watching sunsets so please think of me whenever you see one.

May God watch over you, always.

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