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Once upon a time, many many moons ago, I believed that in order to succeed in life, you needed to get ahead financially—and you did this by working non-stop.

This was ingrained in me by my father, who at the time was a successful businessman who also equated his self-worth with the amount of money he made.

From a young age, it was ingrained in me that I was going to get an education and make my own money, and I was to do this by grinding it out by any means necessary.

When I was in college, I remember waking up on the couch after I crashed the night before from the exhaustion of working and going to school full-time. He was leaning over me asking if I was going to be “useless” that particular day.

Never mind that his mental well being, personal life, and physical health were pretty much in the toilet his entire adult life. We didn’t talk about that.

What we did talk about was how to add zeros to the bank account.

He died years later after suffering a massive stroke while working. Unfortunately, he also managed to isolate himself from everyone, so much so that it was 24 hours before anyone noticed they had not heard from him.

By then, after a full day of laying on the floor as his brain filled up with blood, he was wheeled out by the paramedics only to be put in the hospital until the doctor was able to call time of death.

In the messy aftermath of grief and regret, I often wondered how comfortable the expensive Italian marble was for him as he lay there dying.

It was not until a few years later that I realized the error of my ways in following in his footsteps, and at 45, I have decided I am no longer doing it.

I am hereby slowing my f*cking roll—for good.

I, too, have worked the grind so I could have the type of lifestyle I thought I deserved. I have also done it at the detriment of my mental and physical health, as well as my personal relationships. All in the name of checking off a never-ending list of what I thought equated success.

What I have come to realize is that completing this list is like trying to line drunk squirrels up in unison. It isn’t gonna happen.

So, without further ado, I give you the reasons why I am choosing to slow my roll from now on, and I encourage anyone reading this to do the same.

1. We are not physically and mentally built for breakneck speed—and society is currently addicted to it.

This whole culture where we stay plugged in all the time with others having 24/7 access to us is not healthy. It serves as a constant distraction and interruption from what is really healthy.

Not a great way to exist.

2. What exactly are we grinding for?

Think about it. We have grown up thinking we want the house with the picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and the dog. Let’s not forget the name-brand clothing, yearly vacations, and picture-perfect life we see on social media.

What is the point of having these things if we are too tired to enjoy them?

We are conditioned at an early age that those things will make us happy. Never mind the notion of working on ourselves. No, we have been taught to check those things off our list and we too shall be happy.

3. A major part of my waking up has also been noticing how busy everyone is or how busy they claim to be.

We wear it like a badge of honor. I don’t know about you, but I think it has gotten to the point that our minds and bodies are addicted to the adrenaline of playing “catch up.”

Looking back on being in a 25-year marriage and raising four kids, all I remember is exhaustion, indigestion, sleepless nights, and grinding where there should have been more things like star gazing, engaging conversations, alone time in a sacred space, and being in each and every precious moment.

Which leads me to my next point…

4. When we stay busy, we miss out on what is right in front of us. Every time.

We are chasing something we think we need in our lives and the truth is, it’s already there. I have found that everything we are looking for is right in front of us. We just have to dig a bit deeper in some areas. That’s it.

I once heard a person say that prosperity does not always appear as money. It can appear as a best friend who will do anything for you, eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship, good health, a roof over our head, and clean water to drink.

Prosperity can also manifest itself as peace and serenity, neither of which can appear when we are messing with those squirrels I mentioned earlier.

I am making the effort to see exactly how prosperity shows up in my life, right where I stand. I want to find the art and magic in things I used to take for granted. I want to be more authentic in my life, not hurried, rushed, and formal. I want flowing and not grinding. If that means missing out, downgrading, spending less, and just being still, then so be it.

But I know that with this decision, I will not only find peace and serenity, I will be more focused and impactful when it really does count.

I love you Dad, but yes, I am now choosing to be “useless.” I am also choosing to hang with the sober squirrels in my yard, enjoying my morning coffee and watching the sun rise.

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