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This month I am celebrating my commitment to health and vitality in life.

I reached the milestone of 200 sessions at the gym that I attend. I am grateful for the trainers, my friends with whom I work out, and for my strong body.

How did I manage to accomplish this achievement? What prompted me to focus on weight training and fitness? Why is this worth celebrating?

Two years ago, I was miserable, both physically and emotionally. My journal entry from those days is a painting of dark colours splashed on the page, blues and greens mixed with purple and black lines running into the edges of the page. I scrawled words along the margins to describe my feelings and thoughts. Chaotic. Overwhelmed. Shock. Tears. Shame. Anger. Messy mind, with zero clarity about next steps. Swirling emotions. Questioning, “Why me?”

I had recently been diagnosed with low testosterone following a series of hormone tests. No wonder I was feeling so lethargic and critical of myself. Understanding the reason for my situation was the first step for me. Now what?

My naturopath doctor was supportive and reminded me that my body would heal. This diagnosis was not a life sentence of pain and discouragement. She prescribed supplements and told me that research shows that resistance training and lifting weights were also a path to increasing my testosterone levels.

During this time, I was engaged in a group experience with a powerful coach who led me and the other women on a path to living our lives with zest and vibrancy. We explored a phrase together: “Celebrate Imperfection as Innovation.” What might be possible if I viewed my health challenges as an invitation to new ways of being in my life?

Here is what happened.

I chose to release the shame and anger I felt toward my body. I accepted where I was at and began to nurture myself with the support of my health care professionals and the women in my life who saw me as whole and able to get strong again. I spoke kindly to myself and no longer pushed my body as a punishment for betraying me. Instead, I rested when I was tired. I ate when I was hungry. I invested in my health by joining an exercise clinic that specialized in setting up programs specifically tailored to the needs of their clients. Instead of adopting a victim stance, I stepped fully into actions that would create a life of health and power.

As I attended the gym regularly, I learned about the power of consistency in following the programs that I was taught. Commitment involves showing up even when I am tempted to give up. There is no quick solution to building muscle and increasing strength. I continue to practice patience and am still learning to pay attention to each success. There is a celebration wall where wins are posted daily. I appreciate that there is a focus on my own progress rather than comparing myself to others.

Who have I become as a result of my two years of membership at the gym? Why is this worth celebrating?

1. I feel a zest and vitality that shows up in every area of my life. I am strong physically and emotionally. I have an increased capacity for managing stress and upheaval in my life.

2. I am a woman who inspires my friends, my granddaughters, and the rest of my family. I do not allow my age to limit me. I will invest in my future health with regular weight lifting and exercise.

3. I have courage to try new activities as a result of my strong body. I am cycling, hiking, and dancing with a sense of joy and play.

4. I ask for help when I need it. This could be in the gym or in my daily life. I have learned that healing comes through community and friendship. I treasure my relationships and nurture them.

5. I express gratitude daily. I do not take my health for granted, and I am thankful for each day I have to live a life that I love.

My story may be different from your experience. Perhaps you have other challenges that are causing you to feel the messy emotions similar to those that flooded me two years ago. I am here to remind you that healing is available for you. Finding a therapist, a trainer at a gym, or a coach may guide you to realize that it is possible to “Celebrate Imperfection as Innovation.”

I am grateful for the message my body had for me as I faced the uphill journey of overcoming my low hormones and my weary body and mind. I am deeply aware of the miracle of the people who came into my life and accompanied me on this path.

My desire is that you also find true partnerships on your journey.

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