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What does a healthy relationship look like?

I have asked myself this question a million times before.

As someone who craves constant stability, I’m eager to build a relationship that has the potential to last for decades.

And while I understand that the idea of stability may not be appealing to everybody, I know that you may also be curious about what makes a relationship healthy, conscious, and sturdy.

Unfortunately, we’ve been fooled into thinking that romantic love is easy. In reality, that’s not true.

We may have to build and rebuild many times before we could establish a firm foundation. And despite all our efforts to protect it, the possibility of its unexpected destruction remains imminent.

I’m still in the process of understanding what a healthy relationship looks like, but I know that fighting for one is f*cking worth it.

We’d do anything to have it because we all know how good it feels to be involved in something that’s so genuine and real. I may not know much, but I do know that true, healthy love is not a fairy tale.

Healthy love is unhealthy sometimes. It may have occasional tears and disappointments and hurt. We may not be our best self every day, but we commit to getting through the hard times. We show up for each other, we support each other, we grow together, and we fall but stand up again and come out stronger than ever.

You may define love differently, and I’m sure it’s beautiful.

But the best definition on love I have ever heard is summarized beautifully by Vex King:

1. “The right partner will not complete you. You are already whole. The right partner will expand you. They will catalyze your growth and elevate your consciousness.” 

2. “Mature love is calm, not chaotic. Stimulating but safe. Playful but peaceful. It’s not a constant high but a steady and thoughtful presence, demonstrated through consistent actions.”

3. “Without respectful honesty, there is no trust; without trust, there is no safety, and without safety, there is no intimacy.”

4. “We all come with some type of baggage, whether it’s trauma or unresolved pain. A precious relationship is when you find someone who wants to unpack with you so that your lightness can pave the way for more authentic love.”

5. “Happy couples aren’t just the ones posting kissing selfies. They’re the ones having uncomfortable conversations, helping each other overcome trauma, and ugly-crying to save their relationship. Happy couples prioritize growth and are a source of inspiration for each other.”

6. “A long-term relationship will die and rebirth a thousand times. It doesn’t matter how long you are with someone, but how willing you are to stay open to the new versions of them (and yourself) that are certain to arise.”