September 24, 2024

How to Accept Reality when we Know we can’t Change It.

 

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Most of us are in fighting mode.

We fight reality every day, everywhere. We do that at work, with our family at home, and in our intimate relationships.

At night when the whole world sleeps, we fight our reality in our minds and look up at the stars wishing for a different life.

That constant battle with our present moment sometimes seems endless. Sadly, we might not even realize how annoying or unhealthy it is. We fight it as if it’s our daily ultimate goal—as if our life depends on it.

I bet you’re fighting something in your head right now. Maybe you’re not happy at work and you’re looking for a different job or career. Maybe you’re not satisfied in your relationship. Maybe an issue with a family member or friend has cropped up. Maybe you’re rattled by an event or a choice from the past. Maybe you’re just not happy and feel like you’re supposed to be living a completely different life.

Sometimes the pain is too great that it hurts to live. Having to cope with this emotional pain is often unsettling and causes us to keep resisting life in the hope of changing the future or attracting a different kind of reality.

However, we know we can’t change our present. Regardless of how painful or unpleasant it is, deep down we know that we have to live this moment. But this fact often pushes us to resist our reality even more and go against life.

The truth is some things are unchangeable. I know it seems unfair, but no matter how hard we try to push, some circumstances might not change—at least for now.

What can we do then? When some situations remain fixed despite our efforts, how do we act? I have realized time and time again that when I separate myself from the overall scheme of things, I suffer and I drown in an endless loop of emotional pain. Nonetheless, when I remember that I am one with what’s around me, my body moves into a state of comfort.

“You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” ~ Max Ehrmann

What I’m trying to explain has been beautifully said in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He says:

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”

When we can’t change our situation, the only thing we can do is to imagine that we had chosen that situation. It’s not true, but it’s comforting. That’s how we flow with the ugly events in our life. That’s how we embrace the unchangeable until we have the ability to change it.

We’re not separate from the universe and its infinite energy. So even when we feel weak and powerless or that things are out of control, remember that the choices that life has made for us at this moment are our own choices as well.

We’re always on the right path even when it looks wrong.

~

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