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Words have the power to wield a peculiar kind of magic.

They can build us up, tear us down, or act as invisible barriers, keeping us stuck, scared, and paralyzed.

When it comes to living life during and after addiction, word choice carries particular weight. September is recognized as National Recovery Month, a time to acknowledge the voices, stories, struggles, and victories of those who have walked the streets of substance use disorders and found their way out. But even a decade removed from my own tawdry time with alcohol, you won’t hear me utter the words “sober” or “in recovery.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently wrong with these words. Many find immense pride and strength in them. They represent hard-won battles and a commitment to a new way of life. But for me, they never felt empowering. They felt like a barrier, a constant reminder of a past I was trying to move beyond. They felt like a label, confining me to a box I no longer fit in.

Sober—to me, it might as well have meant stigmatized.

The word carries a multitude of definitions:

• Not affected by alcohol or other drugs (um… alcohol is a drug).
• Somber, dull.
• Muted.

None of these resonated with my experience. I am affected by alcohol. It’s still out there, and I’m acutely aware of the havoc it wreaks, even if I’m not personally partaking. And living alcohol-free hasn’t made me somber, dull, or muted. Quite the opposite, in fact. My voice, my life, my emotions…they’ve blossomed. What was once tamped down and numbed by alcohol now vibrates with a technicolor intensity that rivals the special effects in “Avatar.”

Sober—nah, nothing about my life feels sober now. It feels alive. I’m more me now than I ever was back then.

The same goes for recovery. The word implies a return to a previous state, a reclaiming of something lost. But what I was after was something more. I wanted peace in my relationship with alcohol. I wanted freedom.

It’s curious, isn’t it, how alcohol holds this unique position in our society? It’s the only drug you have to justify not taking. “Why aren’t you drinking?” is a question I’ve fielded countless times, often met with raised eyebrows and thinly veiled judgment. But I wear my alcohol-free badge with pride. As Albert Camus so eloquently put it, “Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.” And for me, that chance lies in living a life unburdened by alcohol’s grip.

I wanted the power to live alcohol-free. And that looks different for everyone.

For some, it’s a mental shift—no longer letting alcohol dictate their choices, but having the freedom to practice mindful drinking when they choose. For others, it’s choosing not to drink at all, not because it’s forbidden, but because it simply holds no appeal. I fall into the latter camp. Alcohol is about as enticing to me as sipping on dirty pond water or munching on a cardboard cereal box.

Recovery also implies that something was broken. I no longer believe that. I wasn’t broken, but like all of us, I had room for improvement. I don’t want to simply return to where I was ten years ago. That’s not growth. That’s stagnation. That’s not what I want for myself, or for anyone else, regardless of the change they’re seeking.

We’re meant for more. We’re meant for better.

So, no, I’m not in recovery. I’m in a constant state of improvement. I hope to continue challenging myself, gaining new knowledge, dismantling old beliefs, and discovering new ways to heal and grow. I’m not just alcohol-free; I’m thriving. I’m evolving. I’m becoming the best version of myself.

Has a fear of stigma or what others might think of you held you back from pursuing something your heart was leading you toward?

Have you ever felt like a word was holding you back, preventing you from fully embracing your potential?

I believe in the power of words to shape our reality. Let’s choose them wisely keeping our hopes for ourselves in mind. Let’s choose words that uplift, inspire, and propel us forward. Let’s choose words that reflect the vibrant, ever-evolving beings that we are. Let’s shed the labels that no longer serve us and embrace the freedom to define ourselves on our own terms.

What words empower you on your journey?

What words light a fire in your belly and remind you of your strength, your resilience, your boundless capacity for growth?

At the end of the day, it’s not about being sober or in recovery. It’s about living a life that’s authentic, joyful, and full of purpose. It’s about embracing the freedom to be better, to grow, to evolve. It’s about being free.

And that, my friends, is the most badass thing of all.

Are you ready to find your own freedom from alcohol? Join us in The Alcohol Experiment. You will receive encouraging and mindset-shifting daily videos and lessons and an incredible community of 400,000+ people also experimenting with their alcohol intake. It is completely free (and always will be) at The Alcohol Experiment. 

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