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There are times as a parent when you feel out of touch and irrelevant to your kids.

And then there are times when your kids prove you wrong.

One memory that comes to mind for me was when my older son decided to dress up as John Bender, the bad boy character of the movie “The Breakfast Club.”

The movie takes place on a Saturday morning in a suburban high school. Five students from various backgrounds are thrown together to serve their weekend detention in the library with the principal, who is, of course, totally square. The princess, the athlete, the criminal, the brain, and the basket case. Hijinx ensues along with an awesome 80s soundtrack.

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By the end of the movie, the kids have broken down their barriers with one another, coming to the conclusion that the fault of their angst lies with their parents.

“When you grow up, your heart dies,” says the basket case character. In solidarity, they submit a joint essay that was their detention assignment, signing it “the Breakfast Club.”

The movie defined a generation.

We were latchkey kids, the ones after the baby boomers. The slackers. The disillusioned ones. When the book Generation X came out, that was our label. I didn’t read the book as I was in the throes of my college studies, but I felt that angst.

Fast forward to the 21st century.

My junior high school aged son dresses up as John Bender, the criminal character, for Halloween.

His close friends dressed up as the remaining cast of students. The modern twist on this cast is that they are, as my son would say, “brown.” He and his friends are of southeast Asian descent.

My son is the polar opposite of John Bender. He is Asian American, slight in frame, sports a crew cut, and is an A student—with eyeglasses to boot. The flannel shirt and fingerless leather glove look wasn’t quite the same on my son as the movie character.

While I was proud of the fact that he and I shared an admiration of the movie, my mom self couldn’t help but think “ouch” to that heart dying as an adult quote.

Suddenly, I saw the movie from the high school principal’s character point of view.

My son’s choice of Halloween costume that year did give me hope, however. It taught me that while our generations are worlds apart, each generation has something to learn from the other.

Well done, son.

~