View this post on Instagram

 

{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

I’ve always been afraid of showing my deepest emotions.

The fear of being rejected or shamed has followed me like a shadow. And so, I take responsibility for all the misunderstandings and misinterpretations that have crowned some of my friendships and relationships.

I don’t think vulnerability is innate. Unless we’re in a dangerous situation that threatens our survival, vulnerability doesn’t come easy. The truth is we acquire vulnerability. We watch the primary caregivers in our environment and learn from them how to process emotions.

To this day, I’m still learning how to let my guard down. I’m still figuring out how to be vulnerable and be okay with the consequences, even when I’m afraid. I’m slowly accepting the discomfort of showing my rough edges.

Today I had a vulnerable moment with my father. When I shared with him how I felt about his presence in my life, there was a moment when I felt like sharing more. I could feel my lips sealing and my heart beating faster. I wanted to say a few more words, but I was afraid. I was terrified. My words would put me in a risky position, and I wasn’t willing to take that risk.

Then something surprisingly shifted within me. I consciously chose to pour my heart out. We sobbed. We hugged. There was an undeniable comfort that washed over me.

What happened?

I allowed my fear to take me to bravery. And it takes a lot of bravery to be vulnerable.

Expressing our thoughts and emotions is dangerous; shutting down is safe. Practicing vulnerability exposes our deepest desires and wounds. It breaks down the walls that we build around our hearts every single day. It makes us look weak and powerless.

Our resilient façade masks our fear of rejection. But what if fear is all we need to reconnect with our vulnerable side?

When we are on the brink of being vulnerable, we should let ourselves feel the fear that encapsulates our bodies. In that moment of emotional terror, we have a choice. We can either choose to open up and accept whatever comes next or shut down and get stuck in the what-ifs.

Today I have chosen to open up and accept the consequences. Beautifully enough, the consequences have been rewarding, and maybe, just maybe, this is the power of vulnerability. Maybe it’s simpler than we think.

Fear tends to block our ability to think clearly, but practicing vulnerability doesn’t require much thinking. When fear shows up, stop thinking. Breathe and feel the energy that’s stopping you from connecting with yourself and others. Accepting our fear is bravery in disguise.

Instead of trying to find the right words, jump into the ocean of your feelings and trust that your story matters. What you say might not be perfect, but it will be courageous. That’s the only way we can deepen our relationships with others. When we stop trying to look strong, we automatically become strong.

Vulnerability is an opportunity. Make the best of it.

~