View this post on Instagram

 

When was the last time you were your own best friend?

As a mom, being your own best friend is challenging, to say the least.

We are the bedrock of our family. We nurture and teach our children. If we work outside the home, there isn’t much room for self-care. While these are obstacles, they can become the path to come back to ourselves.

There is one instance in recent memory when I acted as my own best friend: the decision to retire from my medical career.

For twenty years, I was in private practice in obstetrics and gynecology. Those years were busy and unpredictable. It was the little moments I spent with patients that kept me going. I learned from them as much as they learned from me. Those little moments were the times when I felt I was heard.

There were many patients who touched my life, as I hope I did theirs. The families of sisters whose daughters I delivered and watched as they grew into young women. The single mom who shared my enthusiasm for running and shared her life struggles with me during her office visits. Life is a marathon, I reminded her. Just keep moving forward from one water station to the next.

Perhaps the patients that touched me the most were the ones who candidly shared their struggles as a mom. Their loneliness and isolation in caring for a newborn day in and day out. The loss in identity that accompanies this major milestone. Their guilt at not being blissful in their new mom role.

I listened to their stories with empathy and offered my insights.

They taught me how my role as a mom, rather than doctor, was also powerful in helping others heal.

That they were not alone in their struggles. My office was a place of safety and presence for my patients.

That is something I treasure to this day.

cancel

Name

Email

Website

Δ

As the healthcare field became more corporate, my career was no longer a reflection of me. Private practice became more challenging. Increasing regulations and dealing with insurance companies took its toll on me. There didn’t seem to be enough hours of the day to keep up.

I left private practice to be employed by the hospital for more predictable hours. I grieved the loss of my patients and those meaningful interactions. Over time, I found community in working with the hospital staff. I met many wonderful people who dedicated their lives and careers to serving their community in healthcare.

The corporate culture made its way to my hospital. The Covid-19 pandemic took its toll on me and the staff that I so enjoyed working with. Again, the business side of healthcare became a barrier to serving my patients.

Those little moments with my patients became few and far between.

After much soul searching, I chose me and left that world behind.  Sadly, many of my colleagues have made that difficult decision even earlier in their career.

Perhaps the hardest lesson is choosing you.

I carry the lessons my patients taught me. The ones who took an honest look at their choices and chose themselves. Being a mom is being a creator. Time for this mom to create again.