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*Author’s Note: This article is dedicated to all those who voted for Kamala Harris and are heartbroken that she didn’t win. We are grieving deep-layered losses. A way of life that we hold near and dear. Full of “what ifs,” the future feels dark.  At the same time, I hear an inner voice saying …

What’s Next?

Before I can gain illuminated answers to that question, I need to respect what I’m feeling right now.

I’m in mourning. Don’t worry about me. I will call upon my friends, “trust,” “faith,” and “hope” again, but today I am immersed in more darkness than light.

Unlike my usual self, I am finding it hard to come up with inspiring quotes, songs, proverbs, and poems to share.

As Popeye the Sailor Man said, “I am who I am and that’s all that I am.”

Maybe you’re in a better head space than me.  I hope so. I could use a dose of your inspiration.

Usually, I ride on the winds of joy, light, peace, optimism, and dreams of the impossible becoming possible.

While I have a hunch that trust, faith, hope, and new dreams will return within me, just for today, or as long as it takes, I am allowing myself to wallow in whatever feelings bubble up.

What’s next today, and then as I regather myself, what’s next after that?

How can I lean into a deeper form of courage, strength, and resilience, and how can I step into an even higher version of who I am?

I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow, I will. Meanwhile, “what’s next” includes a mega-dose of self-care.

Maybe this list will give you permission to self-care, too …

I lingered in bed longer.

Got out of bed to watch the beginning of the sun rising.

Went back to bed.

Comforted myself by eating a cinnamon bun from Whole Foods.

Enjoyed a bold cup of coffee in my favorite butterfly mug.

Took a shower and stopped for a moment to give thanks for the ease and abundance of receiving the water flowing over me.

Deliberately put the force of the water on the tighter parts of my body—like the back of my neck.

Listened to and watched the birds outside.

Deep breathed and meditated.

Cried, groaned, sighed, mumbled to myself, and wrote in my journal.

Recited “The Metta Meditation Prayer of Loving Kindness,” “Serenity Prayer,” and “Desiderata.”

Played my singing bowls, sang songs of peace and love, and sent positive thoughts out to the world.

Controlled what I could control. I straightened out a drawer, did my laundry, and made order in the house.

Did an errand and enjoyed kind interactions with strangers.

I breathed in all the positive vibrations exuded by one of my granddaughters. The cute little stones that she found on the ground and carefully placed on the table, the streamers that she tied around drawer handles, a unicorn balloon that still floats near the ceiling, the open hearted love notes, and all the ripples of happiness, laughter, and unconditional love that she left behind after her visit.

Simple things. Sometimes all we can do is to take notice of all the simple things. They are healing. They are powerful. It’s a win from within.

Yesterday, I curled up in a fetal position and stayed in bed all day. That was okay to do, too. It’s all part of self-care and self-love.

I am also voicing my truth more than usual about how someone’s actions or words make me feel (instead of thinking that I need to avoid conflict and take all the toxic behaviors coming at me). And I am offering olive branches when needed, too.

For some reason, I am changing. It may last. It may not. But right now, it’s noticeable.

Of course, one doesn’t change overnight. Because I have been “saying my say,” I am now worried that they will never talk to me again, the people pleasing syndrome is dancing around my “concerned-for-others-more-than-myself” psyche, and I’m afraid that I hurt their feelings.

New behavior is hard to wear at first and I don’t know if it’s behavior that suits me. We’ll see.

All I know for sure is that inner growth is a lifetime process.

Oh, one more important bonus of light and love. I gave an extra smile, hug, and kiss to my beloved husband this morning.

What’s next for you, lovers of peace, democracy, human rights, and kindness? What’s next? What are you doing on behalf of self-care and self-love? What action steps are evolving from inside out?

Most of all, how are you? I care about you. Even if you didn’t vote for Kamala Harris, I care about you. Come sit at my table and let’s hear each other’s life stories.

As one of the songs I wrote says, “We’re all one people, all one global nation, all one planet, and together we can live.”

I believe in the saying, “peace begins with me” and I believe in the Golden Rule. I always will.

I also believe in the ethereal qualities of trust, faith, and hope and they are trying hard to enter my spirit again. I feel glimmers of light trying to peek through the darkness and I’ll never give up inviting them into my soul of souls. In time, I will let them in. Somehow. In some way.

African American poet, Toi Derricotte, said, “Joy is an Act of Resistance.”

I’ve always been an advocate of joy. Let me see. What small moments of joy can I find today? What small moments of joy can you find? What stage of grief, faith, trust, struggle, or joy are you in right now?

I’d love to hear from you.