“Some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together.” ~ Scott Neustadter, (500) Days of Summer: The Shooting Script

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I have spent an insurmountable amount of time working on letting you go.

Physically, we let go a few years back. Emotionally, it took a little longer.

And whilst I have moved forward in my life, healed, grown, and transformed in many ways, there is still a subtle, yet noticeable energetic connection that fluctuates. Sometimes it dims and other times it increases in intensity. Regardless of the strength of it, it’s always there, simmering along in the background.

Perhaps it’s your random, out of the blue, looking at my social media. Maybe it’s your unexpected contacting of mutual friends, with no real purpose, people whom you’ve not spoken to in a few years, knowing I’ve remained close to them. Whatever it is, it’s time for it to stop.

Like me, you’ve moved on with your life, or perhaps you’re stuck, I don’t know, but that’s for you to work out. I’m not your person anymore. You can’t have the life you’ve chosen plus hold some sort of connection to me. Maybe it’s unconscious, or maybe you’re fully aware. Whatever it is, I feel it.

If you loved me, you would let me go.

I know we had an intense, all-consuming connection. There were beautiful moments. Laughter. Joy. Passion. Chemistry. Shared secrets. Interesting conversation. Deep love. Incredible sex. But there were also unhealthy times and toxicity. Jealousy. Control. Deceit. Secrets that affected other people. Confusion. Manipulation. Tears. Sadness. Heartbreak. It was a love that should not have happened but did. It was a love that was bloody hard to let go of, but I did.

I’ve taken my lessons and worked through them. I’m not sure you have because you’re still letting me know in a roundabout way that you are there. Just like a fisherman with your reel, patiently waiting to see what you can hook. Those hooks were in me for a long time. But I untangled the lines and pulled out every last one of them, or so I thought.

If you ever truly loved me, you would finally let me go.

The things I have done to rid myself of you have been varied but extensive. Aside from the usual therapy, journalling, and focusing on me, I’ve had several different energy healing experiences. I’ve cut the energetic cord. I’ve meditated. I’ve used an abundance of sage. I’ve cleared my space of anything that belonged to you. I’ve not looked at any of your social media for a few years. I’ve let you go and set you free, yet I feel you, still attached. Still somehow connected to me. I feel that whilst you have your life and may even be happy, there is a part of you that simply cannot let go of me. Maybe it’s the idea of me. Perhaps the memories of me.

If there’s a part of you that still loves me, love me enough to let me go.

You can’t keep that door open, or even slightly ajar anymore. We had our time. We had our love. We had the opportunity and we let it pass us by. You had choices, and you can’t choose one thing but still hang onto the other. It’s selfish. It’s unfair.

You always had this ability to move through life with a trail of unresolved things behind you. Things you couldn’t face. Things you were too scared to address. Time and time again, you distracted yourself, pushed things down, and swept any remaining remnants under the rug, in the hope they’d never bite you on the ass.

Each day you pop your mask on and convince yourself you’re fulfilled. But you forget, I know you. Not the version you show to the world but the you underneath all the bullsh*t. And whilst all the distraction, pushing, and sweeping keeps you functioning, it also keeps you stuck. It keeps you connected to all these parts of your life you’ve not worked through or been able to fully let go.

Please, I need you to let me go.

It took me a long time to get over us. You left your mark in more ways than one, and I worked really f*cking hard to heal and set myself free. I’m fulfilled, and at 56, I feel so damn good about myself. I know my worth and all the amazing things I have to offer. And I recognise that you were meant to be part of my journey. You reminded me that I’m beautiful. Your constant desire for me showed me how desirable I am. You were the man I needed at that time. The road we walked together, the magic we shared, and all the potholes we learned to navigate taught me a lot. But it was the pain I experienced and the metaphorical push off the cliff that were to be the catalysts for me to rediscover myself. I am grateful for that.

I am grateful for having experienced a moment in time with you. I am grateful for having connected at such a depth with you; it taught me more about myself than I could imagine. It also taught me a lot about you and your inability to fully let things go in a healthy way.

But it’s time now. It’s time to let me go. It’s time to let us go. It’s time to let the connection go.

It doesn’t mean we didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean we didn’t share some beautiful things. It doesn’t mean that we don’t occupy a piece of each other’s hearts and maybe even souls, as I think that’s inevitable. It doesn’t mean we never think of each other and maybe there’s even still a quiet love that will forever travel with each of us as we continue to wander through life, on different paths.

Some lovers come into our lives to teach us to let go. To teach us who we are at our core. To remove us from situations we have outgrown or are no longer conducive to happiness. To remind us of our beauty and gifts. Some lovers are simply not meant to be together and when they part, it’s important to disconnect physically, emotionally, and energetically, and I believe the energetic connection is the most difficult to cut.

I know you loved me, but it’s time to energetically let me go.

Walk the road you have chosen and let me do the same. Be honest with who you are and what you want so you can be at peace. Deal with your demons and lift that rug up once and for all and clear out everything underneath. I don’t have rugs anymore. I no longer distract myself and instead face stuff head-on.

I let you go because it was time. Because my door is closed. Because our story was only a chapter, and there is so much more to my book. Because loving you was a gift, but that gift was unwrapped and popped away; it’s still there as a part of me and my life, but it’s not something I take out and look at anymore. Because some loves are not meant to last, and that’s okay. Some people aren’t meant to stay, and that’s life. Some lessons are meant to be brutally delivered to teach us. And sometimes we need to let go, even if that seems like the hardest thing in the world.

Show me your final act of love and let me go because what we had is gone. The us we were is gone. The woman I was is gone. The man you were is with someone else, and she deserves the whole of you.

Set yourself free and let me go.

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