This year I’ve spent many moons dropping the desire to control.

I’ve peeled back fear’s tireless grip. I’ve walked into open waters time and time again. This poem speaks to these moments in life when our bodies crinkle in fear, when “what’s next” lives beyond the dark tunnels in spaces unknown. This is for the days when a loved one falls ill, when a heart sits broken, when we’ve been knocked down by our dreams at the most vulnerable time. This is for the nights when we struggle to trust in our capacity, in the world’s capacity––in the divine flow of it all. This is about giving in, giving into what is, and trusting that it’s always going to be alright.

~

I look to the sky

Its eyes

Fire, wind, soul
Tell me to trust
the sway of the branches,
the creaking in the trees,
the moments in life when
the earth is pressed against my knees.

I sit here.

eyes wide up,
watching the wind flow
through the rustling leaves.

I hear its whisper
its taunts of scarcity,
spiraling around trunks,
singing to the sand

“This is not enough.”

“This is not enough.”

“You are not enough.”

I see my reflection in the still waters—

the waters poured from my sisters,
my community,
my support.

I dip my hands into this replenished river
and cleanse my dirt-cloaked cheeks.

I wipe the patterns of fear
patterns of fear
patterns of fear

Into the banks
into the soil
into the earth

Regenerating,
flowers to bloom
old to new
illuminating shadows.

I sit here.
eyes pressed to the stars
and out of my mouth
comes a spiral of light,
of trust
of reign-less movement.

As I look to the moon, I tell her,
I see you.

As my hips sink into the ocean, I tell her,
I feel you.

And as I plunge into these icy waters, I whisper,
I trust you.

I choose to relinquish resistance.
I choose to let struggle evaporate onto the forest floor.
I choose to select the ripple I emit.

And tonight,
as I press my knees to the earth
and my eyes to the sky,
I choose trust.

I choose personal, collective, chest-rippling trust—
and it chooses me.

~

Relephant Read:

The Moment I fell off the Cliff was the Moment I Learned to Trust.

~.

Author: Kimberly Gomes

Apprentice Editor: Amanda Volponi/ Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: Author’s Own