Warning: Naughty language ahead!

I had this moment today, after lubing up my sex toy (whom I fondly call “Brad”).

The moment came (pun intended) after I had a really strong orgasm from sliding up and down on Brad. The next thought that followed was, “I need a nap.” After the nap, I thought, “I can’t believe these earth-shaking orgasms are being wasted on an inanimate object!”

Don’t get me wrong, I think that masturbation is healthy and necessary. Knowing what gets you off and what turns you on is valuable. It is great to make love to your own body. Fuck, it is just great to love your body.

But that is not what this is about. It’s about the feeling we get when masturbation starts to feel pathetic. It becomes less about the pleasure you can create with your body and more about a longing for another body to play with. This type of longing is what I like to call Left-handed Masturbation.

It’s just not as good.

You can pet your body. You can stroke it. You can rub sore muscles. You can leverage various sex toys to stimulate what needs stimulating. You can do all of that, but you can’t kiss your own lips. You can’t quite cuddle yourself. You can’t create whole-body friction or electricity with your own body. There are just somethings you need another body to do with you.

And I talk in the terms of bodies because, since our souls are infinite, they don’t need to have sex.

That being said, we often choose to be with people just because they have a body, and we want help masturbating. Isn’t that what a hookup is? “Hey random person I could give no shits about, come help me masturbate, then leave.”

I mean, how many of us want the drama of getting to know someone with all their past stories? Who really cares? Either you like me now and we build a life moving forward or you can drown me with all the bullshit you did before you met me. I think the reason dating sucks is because a lot of people drag their past into the now—AKA, baggage.

But what if we didn’t do that?

What if we met someone and started to ask them about their hopes and dreams? What they are hoping to contribute to the world, to you, and to your sex life? That doesn’t mean you exclude your awareness of pertinent health issues and criminal activities, and it is a different perspective on creating our relationships.

I know that there are a lot of us who are frustrated. There are a lot of us who have succumb to the addiction of distraction, which is actually cutting off of our awareness to the information and actions that would actually create our life we want. So we go around left-hand masturbating our minds, our wallets, our spirituality, our relationships and our bodies.

Sloth is a deadly sin for a reason. Why it was originally chosen, I don’t know. But I do know that if you cut yourself off from doing what you are afraid to do then you never get to experience what you actually want to do.

So the point of this is we will create the same ol’ left hand shit if we keep operating from the point of view of trying to fix the past, believing we are wrong for being human, and for vibrating at the level of shame and guilt.

Your body is demanding right-hand pleasure. Fuck the shit out of your vibrators. Jerk off until your dick chafes. And if you are choosing this, just know it’s not all you can choose or the only option you have available to you.

Choose with your body and not against it. This is a really simple concept that comes from a set of tools learned in Access Consciousness. There are a lot of ways to restructure our lives. The core of all of them is making a choice and then choosing again by simply asking, “Is this contributing to the happiness and freedom of my body or is it making me feel like shit?” If it feels bad, choose something else.

Your life doesn’t have to be left up to something that doesn’t make you feel right.

Choose again.          

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Author: Rebekah McClaskey

Image: Incase/Flickr

Editor: Emily Bartran