Whether astrology is science or magic, we’re open to most things, if they may be of benefit. ~ Ed. 

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When we’re romantically attracted to someone, it usually starts with chemistry and physical attraction.

Pure lust is often based on this physical attraction and our fantasy projection of the one we’re attracted to.

However, as we get to know them, we usually see the real person emerge. When that happens, we may still feel lust for them, but not always love. Of course, being in love doesn’t exclude lust—and lust can lead to love. But lust alone is not a solid foundation for a long-term relationship.

A relationship founded and based on lust may go on for a long time, but it rarely satisfies our need for a deep and intimate love connection.

So, sometimes, we find ourselves in a relationship, asking ourselves: Is it love or lust?

If you look to the following planets in your horoscope, and ask five key questions, you will have your answer.

(to find out what your sign is for each, scroll all the way down)

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1. Am I comfortable being my true self in this relationship?

The sign your Moon is in will tell you about your emotional nature, and whether you will be compatible with the other person.

You can be attracted to a person, yet, when you spend time with them, you may find yourself feeling emotionally disconnected. In fact, you may actually feel rather insecure. This is because your Moon signs are not compatible. This basic incompatibility produces emotional confrontations and a disharmonious day-to-day life together which will eventually become intolerable.

In contrast, if you feel a positive connection with the other person’s Moon sign you will feel accepted, nurtured, and even loved in a special way that reaches your heart. You will have the capacity to understand each other’s needs and enjoy living together in a harmonious way. When you make love, you will feel a deep, intimate connection that reassures you of your choice to be together.

When you have a special rapport and emotional connection with the other person, you feel accepted for who you are. This allows you to be your authentic self.

2. Do I feel good about the way my partner and I communicate, interact, and resolve issues?

It’s easy to be attracted to someone, only to eventually find out that you are bored in their presence. There doesn’t seem to be much to talk about. Your Mercury sign will tell you about the way you communicate and think, as well as your needs in this area.

These insights will help you understand whether you will be intellectually compatible with the other person and enjoy talking with them. One of the big reasons two people may constantly bicker and debate is that their Mercury signs are incompatible. If the other person’s way of thinking and communication style are radically different than yours, it leads to opposing views that create discord and endless arguing.

When your Mercury signs are in sync, you find it easy to talk with that person for hours about many topics. There is a natural back and forth dialogue that is intellectually stimulating. You are able to discuss even the most delicate issues with each other and say things to them that you’ve never said before. They make you feel understood and supported.

The key to a long-term relationship is making sure that your Mercury signs are compatible with each other so that you can not only enjoy day-to-day conversations, but also resolve even the most challenging issues that come up in a relationship.

3. Would I still love this person if they were to lose all their material possessions?

It’s easy to be impressed on a superficial level with someone’s material trappings—whether it’s the Rolex they wear or the Tesla they drive. Long-lasting love has to be built on more solid ground than a person’s material wealth, but there is often something hypnotic about being with someone who has an air of wealth and prosperity.

Your Venus sign will give you insights into the way you love and what you need from the other person in order to feel loved. It will also tell you about your personality and what you find charming and lovable about any person you would be attracted to. Venus in your chart may indeed tell you that what you find lovable is someone who loves luxury and wealth as much as you do.

Venus also tells you about how you enjoy life and what you take pleasure in. Sometimes, you can be attracted to another person, yet find that you enjoy doing totally different activities. You like to socialize and go to parties when the other person wants to stay at home and watch television. If you differ in what you enjoy doing together, it can lead to incompatibility and dissatisfaction in a relationship.

When your Venus matches up with the other person’s, not only are you happy to be in their company, but you love doing things with them, too. You truly feel like you are in love with the other person. And if they didn’t own a Rolex or drive a Tesla, you would love them just as much, anyway.

So, it’s important to know what sign your Venus is in if you want to understand your intimate relationship needs, and to find someone who will really make you feel happy and loved, even if they have nothing material to offer you.

4. Do I feel real chemistry and excitement with this person?

There are times when you meet someone and really enjoy talking with them. They may even be a physically attractive person. But they just don’t turn you on. You may find yourself trying to make such a relationship work by spending more time getting to know them—and even becoming lovers. Yet, you can’t deny that you just don’t feel any passion or excitement.

Your Mars sign will give you insights into your sexual nature and the qualities in the other person that excite you and bring out your passion. When you feel a real Mars connection with the right someone, there is an immediate physical chemistry. You feel excited in their presence, and they feel excited by you as well—whether it’s because you can talk for hours or you can hardly wait to rip each other’s clothes off!

This planet also tells you about your energy levels and desire to be active in life. When your Mars sign is incompatible with another person, one of you wants to be out in the world doing things; the other person wants to stay at home and be more inactive. This leads to boredom and arguing because neither person gets what they want.

If you enjoy affection and an exciting sexual connection in a relationship, make sure that your Mars sign is compatible with the other person.

5. Do I feel attracted to this person emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually?

Have you ever met someone who seems to be the total package, romantically? This person is attractive, with a great personality and a good career, yet they don’t excite you. The reason may be that your Sun signs are not compatible.

Your Sun sign will tell you about your personality type and the characteristics that are attractive to you in another person. Sun sign compatibility creates an instant chemistry where you feel an innate harmony with someone. On the other hand, when your Sun signs are incompatible, you find that you and the other person have different ways of expressing yourselves, approaching life, and accomplishing goals. You are not going in the same direction, which results in competition and clashing of wills—instead of cooperation and common purpose.

When your Suns are in harmony with each other, you feel like natural friends who support each other’s individual self-expression and personal goals. This makes for the kind of person you can build a happy life with in a long-term relationship because you’re attracted to them on all levels: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. This is why Sun sign compatibility between two people is so important.

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You can learn about each area of love compatibility by comparing your birth chart to the other person’s. In your horoscope, these personal planets will tell you whether or not you are really compatible for a love relationship.

If you want to know about the planets in your personal horoscope, go to the Free Natal Horoscope Calculator and enter your birth date. If you’re curious to learn what your horoscope says about your love relationships, and marriage prospects, as well as career, investments, and health, order your customized personal report.

If you’re in love and want to find out if you’re really compatible for marriage (or partnership) with another person, go to the Free Love Compatibility Calculator and enter your birth date and theirs. And, if you want a customized report on your compatibility together, order your Love Compatibility Report.

If you want to know about your future and how the planets may be bringing changes to your life, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date.

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Relephant bonus:

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Author: Larry Schwimmer
Image: Alejandra Quiroz/ Unsplash
Editor: Khara-Jade Warren