“I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties,/ Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” ~ John Keats

The world is set up to confuse the longing for a clear Yes, a clear No. We busy ourselves with denying the excruciating ambiguity of our daily lives. Tossed between light and dark, male and female, victim and perpetrator, rich and poor, it’s easy to flounder in the exertion to sort it all out. Once a year we experience this intensity in our bodies, mind and spirit: the light darkens, the light returns-this year it happened at 11:10 p.m., December 21st, C.M.T.

For Keats, confusion could be resolved by “Beauty is truth, truth beauty-that is all Ye know on earth and all ye need know.” This might have been okay for those foolhardy Romantic poets but that perception hardly fits into our current blog-ridden, sub-primed, consumer-happy world. Beauty is a Louis Vuitton logo on our luggage. The curiosity about truth has gone beyond Emily Dickinson’s advice to “Tell the truth but tell it slant.” Seems like any consideration of Truth has slipped all the way down hill and lies helpless at the soggy bottom. “Help! Help!” Truth cries.

Clearly each of us is left to our own devices. The only place left for anyone to fi nd the truth is via a genuine conversation with the heart chakra-almost too maudlin a
suggestion for words!

While I’ve accomplished a few things in my life, each day I ask myself what I am forgetting to check off the list. And as the light darkens earlier and earlier each evening, I find myself going further inside my own experience, my own skin, my own style to fi nd the light that is promised to us by all the great teachers of the world. A light I’ve been privileged to see in my teachers. And in myself, on occasion? Well, the search continues.

This year, looking within in preparation for the winter solstice, I wanted to be completely honest. Do you share these questions? For this solstice, I chose to stand in the winds of duality, to see if I could tolerate the weather. This both in memory of Keats and of Allen Ginsberg who proclaimed the necessity of Negative Capability in our confused, persevering and daily lives. Sometimes it’s the ancestors, poetic and otherwise, who haunt us. Who will let you know, when Spring comes around, how the descent and return of the light went? Let me know how you did!

> Aries: This season, try to stay at home with a good book.
> Taurus: Write your memoirs in these blustery days.
> Gemini: The harmony of your inner and outer life depends on you.
> Cancer: You can’t tell what you’re feeling. Getting punch drunk won’t help much.
> Leo: A spiritual calling descends on you, but what to renounce? Don’t hesitate to ask around.
> Virgo: Whew, you are busy. Where are you going?
> Libra: Ready to green the ol’homestead? It’s time.
> Scorpio: Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster this season. Enjoy the ride!
> Sagittarius: The Pluto transit is over in January. You can get on with your life now.
> Capricorn: You can begin the Pluto transit by examining what you really think about the opposite sex.
> Aquarius: Don’t forget to weigh both sides…actions have consequences.
> Pisces: You might consider saying “no!” to the excesses of social life. You’re just not up for them.

I Ching:
Hexagram 64, no moving lines.
This hexagram inspired the above article: the six lines alternate between yes and no, straight and broken, happy and sad. This alternation could be good, but the lines are in the wrong places. This embarrassment is a reminder that inexperience, and growing up, is what change is all about. i ching

Susan Edwards, a metaphysical counselor for 40 years, is one of Naropa University‘s foremothers.