we have bound our hearts tightly with caution and fear. but caution never provided us any more control over life. in order to retain this false sense we block off any joy that can be found through living. resigned to be drug into a joyless darkness we have allowed ourselves to cut off any kind of full or vital experience. in the depths of this self-sacrifice we convince ourselves to believe we are still in control. we are haunted and trapped by our own intensity and fears. frightened and paralyzed, the anxiety of reliving loss and pain is excruciatingly imposing. and we find we are deadened.
day after day we live in a pleasureless, lifeless gloom where exhausting, paralyzing obsessions over what we have lost drain and torment our devoured mind. we hold on tightly to a small, constricted vision that only cuts us off emotionally. we eventually lose control completely and disintegrate into chaos where thoughts collapse into dread and despair.
bound by fear, the struggle to reach out and be heard, known, or touched is impossible; damn the encouraging circumstance that distance provides.
if, for a moment, we can stop letting our ego perpetuate the struggling and fighting. if, for a moment, we can silence the obsessional garbage of our mind and surrender to being touched and known. if we can surrender to an experience that challenges the ego and sanity we might find that we can tear down and eliminate an old boundary that belonged to another story, another life; a story that is no longer serving us. maybe we will be brave enough to venture beyond the state of our old paralyzing bondage. maybe we will find we can be safely consumed by a profound transformative connection.
within the perception of depth there lies our truth.
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