Dreamy Idealist (a poem).

I would love to say

That all people are good
That all people are kind
That we all are souls
That we are all connected
That we truly are one.

That this lifetime is only temporary
That MONEY is temporary
That NOTHING IS PERMANENT, absolutely nothing.

That only love is important.

I want to shout out those things every day.

I would love to say
That I have not been hurt, traumatized, victimized or triggered more than once in this lifetime.
That I’ve not been told more than once that I was violated.
That I have not felt violated.
That I have never been hypervigilant.
That I have not felt shame.
That I have never felt so much pain that I feel like I will burst.
That I have never wanted to vanish into thin air or, conversely that I have not felt angry and wanted revenge or justice.
But that would not be true.

I would love to say
That I can sleep well through the night
That I do not have recurring nightmares
That I always feel safe.
But I can’t say those things.

I would love to say
That everyone’s been hurt or in pain
That only those who are in pain cause pain to others.

That doing unto others as one would do unto oneself is always true.

That pain is a seemingly endless and vicious cycle among many
When it does not need to be that way.

I would love to say that
Hatred does not exist
Racism does not exist
Sexism and misogyny do not exist
Violence or harassment do not occur for any race, gender, orientation or preference.

I would love to say that all of these cause a seemingly endless cycle of pain.
I would love to say that pain does not exist
But to many that’s not true and it sure does not feel that way, does it.

I would love to say that
Putting on a brave mask and acting noble does not mean pain is not inside.
Having the bravery to admit that pain is there, getting to its source and digging out its root is more brave and noble than acting like it’s not felt.

I would love to say that only love exists.
But not everyone sees it that way.
And that’s unfortunate.

Because anything else is truly man made, only love is real.

But, then again
I have always been a dreamy idealist
Who hopes for the best
Who wants to heal
Who wants to help others to heal
Because I always see the goodness in people no matter how much they hurt.

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