To subside to depression.

To subside to depression is not an act of irrationality. Au contraire, it can be the most logical decision and a point of time. It is not easy to fight this black hole of depression, it is way easier to settle for a defeat.

It is agonizing to find someone seized to exist, to let go of his earthly condition. I hope you don’t fall in the pit and follow the rabbit.

No matter what I do or say, it want change what happened, it won’t matter. I have come by this pit many a times, yet I was not ready to meet my maker, as Borges did. I am not a special one, I am merely a normal human, but sometimes I look into the mirror and I see emptiness, just as if I have lost my shadow, my soul, myself.

Sometimes tears escape my eyes for those lost souls who lost their fights. Aint easy to take that decision, to willingly chose to stop living, it is actually one of the most daring decisions one can take. Also, it can mean ultimate loss of hope and decisive abandonment.

To be sane and take such a decision is to be damaged beyond repair. Like an already sinking ship. For me, it is a one logical courageous out of despair decision that sometimes one should avoid just in case one is able to carry more misery or for the idiotic hope that everything will be just be fine.

I hope you get your wings working, to fly over this misery of a life. I hope you do not fall for the easy choices in a cold soulless night. I hope I won’t lament who you used to be. I hope you wake up from this cheap masquerade. Please hold on with me, together we can make the rain fall and cleanse ourselves from this despair.

I have had enough just like you, so hang on with me. I will smile while holding my tears not to escape. I will smile while knowing I am dead inside. I will smile and hope I will emerge as a hero. But how can I be a hero, when I am the villain. Tell me which is better: to die a hero or live along to become the villain?

I will leave you now in this charade, to wipe my tears while crouched down in my fetal position, admire the beautiful and hold on to the banner of the losing salvation.

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