Loving Myself Today!

At 10 I fell in love with drew Barrymore in a completely different way than my girlfriends

At 10 I decided to put on my first mask, bury my feelings

At 10 who I was became what you wanted it to be

At 10!

At 15 I found ways to bury those feelings again that were creeping back in

At 15 I started a 20 year long journey of using whatever was around me; women, men, alcohol, drugs, food to be able to be whomever you wanted me to be

At 15!

At 34 I walked out of the proverbial closet and declared by lesbianism

At 34 I was so used to wearing a mask, I continued using all those “things” to make me comfortable with myself in front of you, so you’d like me

At 34!

At 35 I surrendered to it all. I took off the mask, put down the substances and made the treacherous walk to the mirror to see who I had become

At 35!

At 40 I celebrated entering this new decade as a proud gay woman at New York City pride

NO ONE should have to wait till their 34, 35, 40 or even 15 or 10 to be proud of who they are

NO ONE should wait at all. You should feel free to be you when you begin to figure out who you are

Now at 43 I am me. I love me. I can look in the mirror and even on the days I have bags under my eyes I love who I see

I see ME. I see a warrior who has trudged a path of despair and had beautifully powerful experiences that have brought me to this moment today

I will stand up for myself. I will stand up and by you.

I love myself today

I pray everyday that everyone can find this love and one day there will be no more proverbial closets of any kind. We will just be us. Humans learning to have a spiritual experience filled with love

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