Fear certainly does feel like a price paid.
A high toll taken from within and out of me.
I can look at its role in my life and see the loss.
It has been a very expensive teacher that manifested and disguised itself,
bled… into other emotions,
added toxicity into too many experiences, spoiling the contents, ruining how
many moments that could have been pleasant, maybe even happy memories…
added memories, instead of my intended forgetting.
Looking back it’s the only thing that rests, sits comfortably in a lot of empty space devoid of anything else… even light.
Fear has cost me; much of my life.
Moving forward I’m learning how to recognize when it sneaks in and tries to hide amongst my dreams,
attempts to tamper with the constructing of my ambitions, disrupting the flow of the doing in my day… each day… every day.
I’m slowly learning how to see and proudly call it out. To do so without shame, without further fear, without the dry throat of the strained stuttering whisper that is self-doubt.
Learning is displacing fear.
Learning allows me to change. Not through force, which I was accustomed to, but in the added understanding light of vulnerability.
If fear hinders and hides, then vulnerability is its unmasking.
Fear is too heavy for joy to vibrate…
I imagine the dance of a vibrant laughter that is free,
unbound,
not held… but allowed; blending in with the universe that surrounds and creates an added beautiful memory that isn’t destined to be stored, but rather given eternity in which to live.
Thank you,
and…
(Thank you to Mindvalley Academy and Lisa Nichols for asking me this question)
Written by: JCR
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