I am 51 years old and I have finally made it through the most physical aspects of “The Change” as my Mom used to call it.

My skin is healthy again, no more night sweats, the hot flashes have finally ended, and I no longer have my period. Even the huge emotional surges have mellowed with time. Life feels more manageable and my body feels more under my control now.

Now that I’m not dealing with distracting hormones and all that comes with them, I can clearly hear what my body is saying.

I can feel my emotions as they flow naturally in a more gentle, rhythmic wave. I can sense the needs of my entire system without the chaos that menopause brought to my body, mind, and soul. I have been cleansed through the fires of the shift in my body from mother to crone.

However, I still have a cycle of moods or emotions to deal with monthly and I’ve been charting the rhythm of this wave. It seems that early in the month, after the full moon, I have more energy. I wake up earlier and my attitude is up. I feel more social and I eat healthier. But as the month goes on, and we pass the new moon, my system seems to start to power down.

My energy fades, I get irritable, my mind will wander into the past more, and old anger may ignite. It feels like a fog or a heavy energy. During that time, I tend to isolate and blow off steam on social media. I may medicate with more Netflix than usual due to an increase in anxiety.

This now is the rhythm of my life and I’m choosing to look at it as a giant yin and yang symbol on each month’s calendar page.

I decided to do some research on the phases of the moon and how they can affect us. I found that I was not alone. It seems that we all have the same yin and yang energy around these phases. When we tune into our bodies, we can harness energy that we can use toward change and growth in our lives.

Instead of the darker energy of the yin part of our cycle bringing us down, we can enter into this phase with understanding and with focus. Knowing it’s a time to nurture ourselves, rest is the key during these days.

Here’s a breakdown of what I learned:

Yin represents the feminine, dark, moon, passive, a time for rest, and contemplation.

Yang represents the male energy, creativity, sun, strength, and a time of doing.

“The two opposites of Yin and Yang attract and complement each other and, as their symbol illustrates, each side has at its core an element of the other (represented by the small dots). Neither pole is superior to the other and, as an increase in one brings a corresponding decrease in the other, a correct balance between the two poles must be reached in order to achieve harmony.” ~ Mark Cartwright, “Yin and Yang.“

For me, this is huge because I’m the Queen of Guilt at times. I have this voice in my head that is telling me to do more, rest less, accomplish, go, do, now.

When I’m in the yang, “sunny time” of my month, I’m flowing with this voice, but during the darker, slower time the voice causes me to doubt my worth—which is sad because resting is the best reflection of my worth. When we are present during this phase, we are radiating our worth and purpose.

Now let’s look at the phases of the moon. Greek philosopher Aristotle believed that because our brain was a “moist” organ, our minds were influenced by the pull of the moon in the same way the tides are. And remember: our bodies are 70 percent water.

“Living life in keeping with the lunar phases has a special meaning to women: As we are emotionally and, perhaps, physically, following the same phases. As the moon needs to recede, withdraw, and renew each month, so do we. We travel across different emotional states the same way the moon travels around the Earth.” ~ Lauren Martin, “The 8 Moon Phases & How They Affect Your Body And Mind.“

We don’t battle with the day being a time of work and busyness and the night being a time of rest and restoration. Why then do we question the same needs when they happen on a bigger scale?

Yang, the time around the new moon is for planting and harvesting. The Yin is for waiting, feeding, nurturing. Both are equally valuable and deserve equal gratitude from us. We all know and understand the seasons of the year. Now we can value and honor the phases of the moon in the same way.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

How can I best serve myself with this new knowledge and hormone-free body?

How can I sow the seeds of intention, create, and socially thrive during my yang, and equally enjoy the required relaxation and introspection of my yin?

Both are valuable times for ensuring the flow of abundance in my life if I can surf them instead of fighting them.

This cycle equips us to be the best version of ourselves. If we can understand that there is a time for everything, and if we can learn to use each season to its fullest, then we will be allowing the flow of abundance that the universe has for all of us.

We will be allowing this energy to emanate from us, and for us, naturally and unhindered as it was designed to do.