A Story of Acceptance at the Border

Not only are we carrying the stories of our own lives but we also carry the stories of our ancestors and families. These events and perspectives have shaped our beliefs and define who we are, until they don’t. When we begin to acknowledge, accept and validate our stories, we can then let the past go. We can break free of the spells of our past and accept a new identity and a new day. We can rise into a new story for the future.

All the emotional, mental and spiritual work I have done over the past 10 or so years has been with the intention of letting go: letting go of the beliefs, values and perspectives that have limited me from having my best life. I am now creating my greatest potential by opening myself to the feelings inside. I’m continually digging deeper, uncovering more stories that have been buried with time as I notice my triggers. Their impact can still unconsciously affect my choices and feelings about life in the present moment. That is where the work is to be done.

My grandfather was just under 10 years old when he crossed the border without any adults. I have been told that he was forced to flee with his sister to escape a destitute life, and had to let go of his culture, language, food and identity as a Mexican. Out of fear for being discovered and shame for where he had come, he had to live under the disguise of an American. On his own, he managed to find his way to the northern United States and began working in the industrialized factories that helped make America what it is today. He eventually married and built a beautiful home where he raised my dad and his four siblings.

I can’t imagine what he felt losing his tribe, family and heritage, and in light of the recent events at our border, I’ve spent time reflecting on how it all relates to me. Though I’m mostly of Mexican lineage, I have almost completely lost touch with my roots. Growing up in a superficial world where from an early age I was taught the criteria for beauty from the media, I have lived in shame of my thick skin, full thighs, bushy eyebrows, and shorter body. And not until now have I realized the deep sense of loss that I carry within, not knowing my ancestral history. I was taught to identify as “other”, checking a box that never made sense to me. I’ve remained quiet in school, work and in the crowd, fearful that drawing attention could create more rejection and segregation for me. I’ve felt like an impostor, estranged from my “home” in many ways, all because I am a mixed Mexican American. I have lived a story of victimhood because of my ancestry.

Though we have had a history of pain and stories of shame, my personal growth has inspired me to write a new story – one where I choose to see my beauty and the resilience built into me. I am grateful for my thick skin and ability to handle the heat without breaking a sweat. My grandfather’s culture has been quiet and that makes us stealthy! We are hard ass workers, who enjoy the simple pleasures of life – music, food and company. We are at a turning point where we are breaking our silence and working to make better lives for our future generations! America has been an incredible home to us. Although many come from orphaned and/or displaced families, I recognize what these Central and South American cultures are built on – strength and resilience! There will be vigilant children who will turn their anger into power like my grandfather. There will be children who work to recreate a stronger future and will proclaim freedom for their families.
I’m proud of who I am – a mixed child; a child of the Earth. I can relate to many people and find the value in what my European, Mexican and Native American blood have provided me. While it’s been extremely hard at times to know where I fit and where home is, I am now at a point of acceptance. I make my home where ever I am! This has been in fact, my life’s work, to embrace my heritage and the lack of connection I’ve felt to it. I see how it’s troubled other members in my family, as they too find it difficult to become vulnerable and trusting of even the culture and people we come from.

These days however, I choose to actively create my family. My blood relatives are absolutely a part of me but their stories, cultures and beliefs don’t define me. I am a world citizen. The identities that people have used to segregate in the past, are no longer relevant in this day and age. As our world continues to progress, the lines of Black, White, Mexican, Asian, Native American, etc and even male and female have blurred – because we have gradually intermingled, accepted and assimilated with one another. We have changed and continue to change and I expect that eventually, we will blend to a place where we may not even recognize the lines of the past.

In order to end the suffering of resisting this very real fact, I believe we must choose to forgive ourselves and others. I believe we must forgive and accept the troubles that our ancestors endured and have passed down through the generations. If we are to alleviate ourselves of the suffering, I believe we must stop blaming, start accepting and in doing so, that we will empower ourselves to overcome the pain and grow exponentially! I visualize chains broken, families reunited, new families without lines or limits created, standing tall and laying stories of horror to rest.

Perhaps as we support ourselves and those who have been hurt, orphaned, rejected, and tormented, we can begin to open our hearts to their uniqueness, their value, worth and contribution to our nation and our world. Perhaps as we look back at our lineage, we can see the beauty, the grit, the heroism, and the love that at the core we all possess. Perhaps we can give thanks for the people who must have helped our ancestors get to the places they did, and not resentment for what we’ve been taught to see in our past or in others who are “different”. Perhaps we can begin to retell the stories with gratitude and of honor and pride for how our ancestors and their ancestors all rose through troubling times, just as we continue to rise today. And perhaps we can see how the story isn’t yet finished, and that the next chapter is up us to create and transform.

I hope to be an example to all those who wish to honor their past and set it free by being proud of who I am. Though we may have struggled and been confined in the past, in remembering who we really are, we WILL RISE and create a better future for all!

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