Love is not a credit score

In a world where divorce has become the normality and dating has become about credit scores, perfect figures and bank accounts, we also see an increase in depression, anxiety and loneliness.

I hear it from single men all the time…..”I’m not wealthy enough”, “I’m not ‘GQ’ enough”, “I don’t drive a nice enough car”, “My home isn’t good enough”.

I hear it from single women all the time…..”My body isn’t fit enough”, “My credit score needs work”, “I don’t have a good enough job”, “I need to dress better”.

The theme here is ‘enough’. We are inundated with memes and articles insuating we must all come out of the womb oozing wealth and perfection or we are unworthy of love and if a man doesn’t have the wealth and appearance of Christian Grey he’s not worthy either. We’re led to believe that who we are and the stage of life we are in determines whether we are enough.

What many don’t realize is struggling indicates trying and growing. Hard times befall all of us at some point. If you’re worth or relationship is built on perfection and good times only it will not withstand the storms which will eventually come.

Many of us have grandparents or parents who stayed together, fought through hard times as a TEAM, built their life TOGETHER. Women recognized hard working, good hearted men for what they were and not for their bank statement or credit score. They found joy in what really mattered. This is how they lasted, these are the couple’s you see celebrating 50 years of marriage.

I, personally, did not expect to be divorced and starting over with 3 children at the age of 40…but it happened.  It’s a struggle, but, it is not and embarrassment, it’s life. These struggles don’t make us losers, they make us fighters.

Take example from past generations. Let love be about love, not the bigger better deal. Allow yourself to be accepted for who you are, not what society dictates you should be. Find a teammate who’s hard working with a good heart to build a life with.

Maybe, just maybe, if we stop valuing ourselves and others by what’s in the bank and how “successful” we think we already are, we might just see some of these same couples SUCCESSFULLY celebrating life TOGETHER 50 years from now.

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