I’m too busy, let’s talk Later.

Moving away from the place where one is born and raised, from your ‘tribe’ and anything you’ve ever known to be true, can be scary and covertly depressing!

Everyone promises to keep in touch, but nobody factors in the busyness of life.

Like me, you may also have a few friends that desire only to catch up when there is a litany of items to exchange, once every few months or so. We’ve all seen those memes on Facebook stating that true friends can go months, or even years without talking and pick right back up where they’ve left off, as if no time had passed at all.

Inversely, I’ve seen other relationships blossom as long distance conversations free us to go deeper – eye contact can be avoided, allowing a certain level of discomfort to escape, all while speaking your truth. I have experienced rejection on this journey, but I have also re-discovered people I thought I had known rather well.

I found myself thousands of miles away from those who knew me best, and writing became my new catharsis.

ca·thar·sis

/kəˈTHärsəs/

noun

the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions. synonyms: emotional release, relief, release, venting.

Writing was not my first attempt to stave off the feelings of loneliness that came from separation. Oh no. First there was the ‘eating to feel better’ which brought with it 90 lbs., followed by ‘happy hour’ that started in 2013 and didn’t end until some four years later. No, this all came from good ole’ fashion, ‘been there, done that’. I needed to do something different.

I woke up one day no longer recognizing the person in the mirror. I had pretended away any true feelings I was having, so everyone thought that I was doing great out on my new adventures. At the time I didn’t realize I was fooling both them, and me.

One night I was feeling disconnected, so I penned a poem….

Everyone is busy,

A common theme, a tone.

Though I live so far away,

My choice was mine alone.

Someday they’ll be unhurried,

Calling to inquire.

I hope to be unburied,

Not walking in the mire.

They’ll want to know about me,

Hoping that I’m fine.

Who knows if I’ll be free,

To tell of what is mine.

For now, I’ll keep on trying,

To keep in touch too often,

And they’ll just keep on flying,

As my hope begins to soften.

Cathartic writing can aid in releasing pent up emotion that would otherwise block us from experiencing the joy that is happening around us right now! Through this I’ve realized that my happiness had to begin with me. People do get busy, and when you factor in time zone differences – fuhgeddaboudit!

In those quiet moments of life when I feel emotion bubbling up so strong that I need a release, putting pen to paper allows me to get it all out. As I write this I’m reminded of Anna Nalick’s lyrics from Breathe (2 AM):

Two AM and I’m still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer Inside of me,

threatening the life, it belongs to.

Writing is now the healthiest way to express myself when nobody has the time to talk. I dump it all out on .99¢ recycled line paper, and it’s the best therapy money can buy. Not only have I been sober for over a year, but I’ve also lost all of those 90 lbs.

I still send the texts and leave the voicemails – never hesitating to reach out to someone the moment they’ve crossed my mind. Likewise, I encourage you to stay connected beyond social media.

I’ll never look back with regret at the times I craved connectedness, to be connected, or at any of my attempts at connecting. In those final days of our lives as we recount not our money, but our moments – will we find overflowing coffers or emotional bankruptcy?

You may never end up sharing the words that you write down, but getting it all out is invaluable to your overall emotional health and well-being.

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
– Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

Author: Amanda Inderbitzin, Elephant Academy Apprentice

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