As a psychiatric mental health practitioner, one of the best pieces of advice I can give to parents raising their children is:  “If you work on yourself and not on your child this will benefit both of you!”

Years ago I was friends’ with a special ed teacher.  She worked hard on being perfect.  Her dinner parties impeccable, she was stylish, and was the therapeutic role model of what a soon to be mom should be. She was ready and well prepared with a toolbox full of techniques when her son was born.  She ruefully recalled his first tantrum in a mall as she peered on expectantly at him: he writhed on the floor in anger and frustration.  After he looked up and noticed that he wasn’t getting a response from her he stopped.  He then proceeded to start licking the floor…. He knew the one thing that would bother her most.

It is so easy to focus on what is wrong with a child (a friend or that annoying person who keeps popping up) often though this is a projection of our own stuff.  Children are our best teachers because they know us so well.  They are us! Often our Achille’s heel–a reminder of our flaws and weaknesses.

Watch, be aware, listen and focus on yourself and all will be well and if it isn’t just watch anyway….