This eating disorder,

I call it “the void,”

It sheltered me from boys,

And their violence,

But it comes with a heavy price,

My health and my weight have suffered

From the eternal war

Between my mind and my body.

Dysmorphic displays

Have emblazoned a canopy

Of distortion

And an accurate picture

I can no longer see.

So the only way I cannot fail

Is to get rid of the scale

And the diet dance,

I’m now taking a chance

With eating when I’m hungry

And trusting I’ll know when to stop,

My belly might still flop,

But at least my soul is not so empty,

Placing the blame where it belongs,

Instead of taking the shame for my abuser’s wrongs

It’s their toxic trauma

That’s given me this karma all along,

And it’s a bitch,

But I intend to switch

To a sensible plan

To love the pain away,

Not with a man,

But by rewriting my fate,

One plate

At a time.