A Letter to My Future Lover

Hello there, it’s me and I’m a mess

Unbrushed hair

Black beanie

Healing.

New tattoos- healing

Wounds-

Deep unexpected wounds -healing

Betrayal

Sabotage

Abandonment

Healing.

I am healing

I am healing for myself

Because I acknowledge THIS as a big moment in my life

Not something to glaze over

THIS

Like war

Is what I’ve unknowingly been preparing for.

It’s easy to dance in times of peace,

But when everything is in despair;

Buildings crumbled

That were once majestic and tall

A fog of grey ash

Can’t breathe–

Can’t sleep–

THIS

Is when I must take everything inside

All of the tools I have

To first just get out of bed

And as the days past

Sure, relapses happen

But get out of bed

And hold myself through the grief,

Until I feel relief

Breathe–

Through the pain

Write–

Through the pain

Dance–

Through the pain

I am healing

For me.

I am healing for you too, future lover

Because if I manifested epic love and epic loss,

It must mean there’s something greater in store.

Me-

Fully expressed

On purpose

Mindful

Brave

Amazing

Meeting you-

Fully expressed

On purpose

Mindful

Brave

Amazing

Dear Future Lover,

I am not there yet

But I am closer than 8 weeks ago

I am feeling my pain

So I can love again

I am building my career and purpose

So I can feel fulfilled on my own

And so I can attract you

Who is doing the same

I know I will be amazed by you

Because I will be amazed by me

So for now dear Lover,

I will focus on me

What I love

How I’ll serve

And spreading joy to the world

And I know I will see you

At the right time

In the right place

Until then

Love,

Olivia