Sexy is Dead.

I’m reading up on how to attract more folks to my blog, how to promote myself better. The main advice I get: be sexy. Or use the word sexy. Or do something with sexy.

Really?

That is the great advice? That is my path to sharing my deep thoughts with the world? Make it sexy?

I think of sexy. I hear it in my yoga classes sometimes. I read it in my self-help books, cook books, and women’s empowerment books. My favorite online mindfulness journal has a sexy section. What is sexy anymore? We have killed the word sexy.

Here is the definition found on dictionary.com:
sex·y –adjective, sex·i·er, sex·i·est.
1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.

If I followed the sexy advice, I’d be nowhere near who I am or what I want to share. I’m not saying I’m a Puritan, it’s just that I dropped “sexy” as one of my top ten goals after college. Life is way too complex and interesting to only be sexy.

I don’t want to be sexy when I’m hanging with my nine-year old daughter and her pals. I want to be a good listener and available. I don’t want to be sexy when I’m teaching a yoga class. I want to help people find their inner strength and translate that into making existence a more gentle, mindful place. More, I don’t want to be sexy in my blog or with my words. I want to share my heart, and it is rarely sexy. I’m not predominantly concerned with sex (sorry, sweet husband of mine), I’m not the sexiest professor on campus, and my Ford focus doesn’t make anyone’s privates flutter. Though my blog posts may speak of sex and sexuality, I’m looking to explore something intrinsically human, not the best way to sell a car.

My advice to folks sharing their words with others? Speak your truth. Sometimes it may be less exciting than Paris Hilton’s New Sexy Vegan Virgin Mojito Drink Mix. But folks reading that blog probably aren’t your audience anyway.

     Nicole Maniez is an acupuncturist, herbalist, yoga teacher and childbirth educator in the Boston area.  She is lucky to get to combine multiple loves into one sweet career, doing what she loves and helping people move closer to health and wholeness.  She is also a momma, an art maker, and an out-of-tune music maker.  Hoping that she will never lose the ability to laugh at her follies (and yours), she cultivates her curiosity in an attempt to keep life entertaining.  She loves mail.  Send her something inspiring – www.nicolemaniez.com.