Disclosure: This is a venting post, and when I vent, the f-bomb shows up and my positivity is pretty non-existent, but I’ll try.

You know what? Fuck it. I’m not going to try. See? That’s the thing. That’s the fucking pressure of life. You become this light, this inspiration for other people, and you can’t have a fucking bad day or negative thought? I call bullshit. You are a light. You shine bright. But, you know what? It’s OK IF YOU DON’T…

Holy fuck. This is has been the hardest couple of weeks I have had in a long time. I have stayed calm for the last month while packing and saying alllllllll the goodbyes. I even stayed calm for the first three or four days of unpacking and settling into our new home. My goal was to ease this transition between the miles for the children. I really didn’t even think about me. Not until this week. That’s when all hell broke loose. That’s when I lost my shit. I cried. I missed my framily down South. I grieved their absence in my everyday life.

I also learned these 7 things about myself in a short amount of time:

1.) I am not a mom made to be play maker, craft instigator, or house jester. Let’s just go back to 80’s style parenting, eh? Go play the fuck outside and don’t come in until dinner! Ok, well, I DO like to know where my children are, but, seriously, go find something to do.

2.) I guess I am a social butterfly! I never realized it because I am one of those people who look extroverted on the outside, but I’m sooooo not (see lesson #4). My energy is completely depleted when I am “going” all day long. Plus, since I don’t really know anyone in town, my connections aren’t always with the people I mesh with and that is taking even more energy to find my people; the ones whose energies collide with mine in just the right way.

3.) I NEED face to face interaction. Screw text. I like people. I need connection on a deeper level. That’s why I love the Marco Polo app and FaceTime. I get to see my friends’ beautiful faces and expressions.

4.) I REALLY like my alone time.

5.) I LOVE the house to be organized and aesthetically pleasing. The unpacked boxes are giving me anxiety, but it’s better than unpacking them with no shelves or cabinets to put them in (see? a positive spin).

6.) I thoroughly enjoy working my business. I get to do it in the pockets of time that I DO have and gives me a break from the all the chaos.

7.) I am GRATEFUL for how graceful my kids have eased into this transition. I may have put my 3-year-old in his room for a good 20 minutes today, had heart palpitations and said “fuuuuuuck, fuckity fuck fuck” into a pillow, but overall, they really have been wonderful and taking everything in with an adventurous spirit.

I guess my overall goal of protecting their well being was completed (for now).

Thanks for listening, Beauties.

What do you do to relieve your stress or uplift your mood?

Peace and XO,

Dawn