I didn’t imagine the sun would Polish my skin so sensually, usually i look bland, like a piece of lint that fell on a boring old grey carpet. Today however, today I shine like a spiritual armor of bronze, the stuff of fairy dreams, i am perfect. I realised as I took note of my sudden but idle beauty that I have been waiting for validation; for people to tell me that my Black is perfectly seasoned, that my afro fits perfectly on my punam, that my eyes are perfectly framed. A horrible way to live waiting for a foreign love to love you whole.

Honestly I have realised that there are a lot of tragedies in life, including crocs, i heard from The Dictator that crocs are the universal sign of a man who has given up, their level of comfort allows one to think it’sokay, listen to me, it is not okay to sleep on your life, you end up missing out on the best version of yourself.

Yes I still love a man, from adistance, a place where my heart can maintain a cool weary distance, where I won’t suffer the scrutiny of well disguised profanity. Love is so hard because it’s not mutual. It just comes over you like death or life insurance sms’s, you’re never ready for either, but when your heart beats strong, you survive…