They always said that lack of confidence is the worst enemy of creation , but today I realized that fear is the real monster . I am not taking about the fearness of creating something awful, I am taking about something worse. When you create something, you have to expose one part of your real self, to let your guards down and be truly authentic about who you are. Take writing for example, if you write about something fake , it would be  mechanical , you are lying to yourself in order to produce some shity words . You do that as you know being your true self could harm you. However, when you surrender to this fear , you are burying your own beliefs deep inside your soul. You ignore all these words and pray that  eventually they will vanish , unfortunately , things don’t work like that. All your buried thoughts will come to haunt you in a way or another. Maybe it will represent as  a nightmare , or it will transformed into anxiety . You stay calm and hope that they will pass , so you can continue wearing your mask ,facing the world with your false self . day after day , year after year , and you keep hiding , you keep shutting your own voice , but at some point you fail. These thoughts , no matter how  hard you locked them up , it will resuface  again. It will turn your life into a horrific story. Imagine hiding from who you are, what could be worse! I know how hard it could be to raise your voice and speak , speak about your own beliefs , about what you truly desire . It is a dilemma , but you have to solve it . Whether you start writing about it , or by talking to a friend , someone who you can be safe with , who won’t judge you . But you are exhausted and furstraded, and you decide to remain silent . Hopefully , a day will come when you can open about it. I pray for this day to come soon so that you can survive.