It was as if warm, sparkling gold fluff caressed my ears and illuminated every speck of beauty that was once hidden. I was drunk off a feathery bliss that couldn’t have possibly been any less than infinite. To my peeking dismay that trickled into the current euphoria, however, it wasn’t at all infinite. It lasted only about three minutes, which, to be fair, is normal for the average song. Still, I needed to experience that harmonious fever once more. I needed to hear that song again.

Unfortunately, my phone was not in restroom with me (because, as unglamorous as it sounds, I experienced my moment of bliss next to a speaker in a public restroom). Determined, I shoved the memory of the song to the forefront of my mind and scrambled to try to remember the lyrics. My inner photographer pointed to the supposed lyrics and snapped away.

Anxious, I scampered out the restroom and made my way to my seat where my purse rested. In that moment, that purse was the Golden Idol and I was Indiana Jones. My feet shuffled forward and I ripped the purse open to pull out my phone and turn it on. Pressured, I began typing the lyrics into Google before I forgot them. The problem was that after playing numerous songs displayed in the returned results, not one matched what I was searching for. None of them were the song. As frustration continued to rise, I forced my fingers to keep searching results on the phone. The quest went on for a few days before a headache and heightened levels of irritation drowned out my urge to experience the bliss of those melodies. I was forced to throw in the towel and admit defeat.

And that was it. I acknowledged that the song couldn’t be found and moved on.

Fast forward a few months, which involved me listening to songs on YouTube during a cold winter’s night (cold by Phoenix standards, at least). My day had involved eating out with my mom and that was more than enough to give me a surge of bliss for the rest of the day. I thought a great way to end my night would be to listen to a happy song while writing. Intrigued by the thumbnail of a suggested video, I clicked, admittedly expecting the corresponding song to be underwhelming.

Once the song played, my senses launched up towards the Arizona stars that caress the rocky mountaintops. The bliss I experienced from earlier that day cultivated into a bundle of elation that oozed into every bit of my surroundings. It was the song and it found me when I wasn’t at all expecting it.

This isn’t the first situation where such a phenomenon thrusted itself upon me. It is as if what we want is received by us effortlessly if we clear our struggle to obtain it. While my struggle in this instance contained action, I believe that the struggle usually consists of thoughts. These thoughts are probably about how to obtain that desire or all of the factors that are making that desire difficult to obtain. I had assumed the only way to listen to that song again was to find it in a Google search. So, I struggled by searching for that song to the point of exhausting myself.

I have to shamelessly add that I would never have let go of the struggle to find that song if I didn’t do it to the point of exhausting myself. It was essential that the struggle completely left my system and the only way for that to happen was for me to use it all up. Obviously, it would be better to immediately let go of that struggle before exhausting yourself, but some of us don’t always have the greatest self-control and I personally think that it’s better to rid ourselves of demons if executing self-control feels more like suppression that prolongs the struggle under a figurative band-aid. Sometimes, things need to be done the hard and unnecessary way for some of us, and that’s okay.

The term “let go” is used quite a bit when talking about receiving desires and I find that confusing. Imagine holding porcelain doll that doesn’t belong to you and wanting it, only to be told to immediately let go of it to have it. Most would assume that letting go of a porcelain doll could be followed by a number of catastrophes, including the doll breaking, being stolen or carried away by a gang of vengeful crows who mistake it for an upper-class scarecrow. How are you supposed to let go of it if doing that very thing poses dangers you aren’t ready to face? A more realistic solution could be to hold on to that doll until you’re finally ready to put it down and leave. Holding a doll that doesn’t belong to you would naturally feel silly after a while and thus, you would likely just want to accept that it isn’t your doll for the sake of relieving your arms of the task.

Struggle gives us different feelings in life. Instead of feeling perfect all the time, we are able to sift through a variety of feelings and reactions. This keeps our lives colored instead of simply black and white. Struggle acts as paint gliding through your canvas of existence. It’s better to let it glide and add more to your painting.

So, if you are trying to obtain a desire, simply allow your struggles to pass through so that when you receive the song, it has a more diverse audience to appreciate its melody.