FORGIVENESS: THE PATH TO FREE YOUR SOUL

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

— Tony Robbins

Humans hurt one another in tiny and immense ways, but our species has worked out a morally virtuous way to   free one another from some impact of that harm through the simple – yet sometimes profoundly difficult — act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is at the heart of so many spiritual and ethical traditions. But it can be one of the most difficult teachings to live up to. Forgiveness requires an extraordinary struggle against the bruised ego. And, the bigger the hurt, the more difficult it is to forgive.  Forgiveness can take many forms, but at its most basic, it is the offer of goodness to the one who has hurt you.

The way in which   philosophy of forgiveness relates to the human being is two-fold:

First, at the heart of Islamic spirituality is this idea that we have a share, no matter how small in comparison to God, of divine attributes by virtue of the life-giving and divinely originating soul   that is breathed into us by the angels when we are still fetuses in our mother’s wombs. It is, then, our spiritual task to cultivate and grow these beautiful attributes within our soul and character in order to draw closer to the divine. Forgiveness is an opportunity to adorn our souls with Godliness.

Second, there’s a deep sense that the way we treat others is the way that we will be treated by God. In other words, if we wish for God’s gentle treatment towards us then we must be gentle toward others.

Forgiveness is love’s way of healing us. Forgiveness is an intimate relationship with mercy that soothes pain, dissolves anger and releases attitudes that don’t serve our own life potential or humanity. Forgiveness is a journey that develops and requires the kind of courage that changes our lives in wonderful ways. This courage compels us increasingly to seek truth and compassion. Along the way, love’s presence sustains us when our effort is great. As we deepen in our forgiveness practice, we come to know how we are to express ourselves in the world.

The only person forgiveness should influence is ourselves. If it happens to affect another in a positive way then that’s a bonus; however, it is no longer an expectation. Forgiveness is a way of freeing the soul and moving on with an open heart!

If we can find a way to live inside of a deep gratitude for our own undeserved grace and mercy past hurts have very little power to cause us pain in any lasting way. They are not worth our time or energy. They are mere sludge and dredge in the great school and journey of life. The refusal to make them our identity is almost the heart of the matter. If you do not transform your pain you will with   transmit it to others.

With forgiveness promising so much, why do we often hesitate to actively engage it? Even when we desire to face long-held feelings and let go of painful wounds, we shy away from the depths of what forgiveness would have us experience. The concept of true forgiveness takes the matter a step further. You also need to offer something positive—empathy, compassion, or understanding—toward the person who hurt you, because it creates a personal stake in the act of forgiving.

Desmond Tutu writes: “When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberators. Forgiveness, in other words, is the best form of self-interest. This is true both spiritually and scientifically. We don’t forgive to help the other person. We don’t forgive for others. We forgive for ourselves”.