It was a Wednesday morning. Wednesdays are Mommy and K.K days as he doesn’t have preschool. He’s 4. He’s energetic. It was the kind of day that was spent both hanging out at home and running errands.

I agreed to volunteer at the big kid’s school last minute and I had to be there smack in the middle of the day. I brushed my hair, threw on a little makeup, and kept my workout clothes on, because why not? I try to workout or at least move my body every day. I mainly like to get that done in the mornings, so you will most likely see me in yoga pants or workout clothes during any portion of the day.

This is me.

Volunteering went well. The other mom and I had some laughs with the 5th graders. We chatted. We got to know each other.

On the way out, she asked me, “Do you workout or do you just wear workout clothes?”  I really thought nothing of it and proceeded to tell her that I do workout. We then had a short conversation about my love for yoga and weights and she told me, “Good for you. I really need to find a routine.” I offered to go to a yoga class with her sometime and we said our goodbyes.

It wasn’t until the next day that I kept thinking about what that question really meant. How would you take this question?

It’s pretty simple. She really could just have been curious and asking because I am happy and, what I like to say, sortafit. Or she could have been asking because she was offended that I wore workout clothes at school. Who knows? But, of course, my overthinking got the best of me. I’m sure it was a completely innocent question. I take no offense to it. I answered the question honestly. It spurred face to face conversation, and that made me happy.

If I were to play devil’s advocate, here’s how I would interpret it, and this is what brought me down this alternate rabbit hole. Bear with me.

I’m a stay at home mom of 3 who also works as a status-quo crusher with Beautycounter. Because of that, I have a super flexible schedule, and for that I am blessed (still forever exhausted, stressed, and not sure I’m doing anything right, but thankful). But, I can’ t say that I don’t feel the heat sometimes from the moms who are out of the house working. I see the looks up and down (or maybe it’s just my RBF). I hear the resentment in the statements like, “you have your hands full” or “must be nice.” I hear the controversial curiosity in certain questions (you know the ones where the voice goes up at the end?).

This might just be a “me” thing. Perhaps I need to get out of my own head. As Rachel Hollis said, “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” If you don’t get anything else out of this, repeat that. It’s the truth. What do people say now? “You do you.”

However, the whole stay at home mom vs. out of the house working mom is a real thing. I wish it weren’t. And, for the record, I don’t think either one is better than the other. I say kudos to all the moms out there for being there for your family in whatever way works best!

But, it can be a real thing. And, this question (albeit I’m SURE was super innocent) just got me thinking. Are other moms judging me because I wear workout clothes and carry joy in my heart? Are the moms wearing the workout clothes and taking time while the kids are at school to have some self-care judging the moms who are at work all day, love it, and carry joy in their heart? The answer is probably. And that sucks. Whichever way we choose to support our family and be there financially and emotionally is nobody’s business but our own. We don’t owe anyone explanations. Moms can have it all. We absolutely cannot have it all in one day, but we can have it all. Stay kind, beauties.

Don’t ask me why that simple question spawned all this deep thinking. It just did. It’s the way my brain works.

This is me.

#doyouwearworkoutclothes? ?

Peace and Xo,

Dawn